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The 100 Very Best Short Jokes

The 100 Very Best Short Jokes

A mantra goes thus “Once you start laughing, you start healing.” This short mantra briefly tells us how essential jokes are because they are the source of laughter. How do you come up with jokes? Jokes can come in different manners that may range from pets to biblical puns. There are, however, many jokes, and you might find it hard to memorize them.

But, the short jokes you will find below this article are short enough to remember whenever you’re with your friends or trying to make your crush smile. Furthermore, you can also use these funny short jokes to entertain kids.

100 Funny Short Jokes

1. Can someone please shed more light on how my lamp got stolen?

2. Will the cat eat its meal without pulling a stunt? I am not a gymnast instructor, but I know the cartwheel.

3. Why is she called llene? She stands on equal legs.

4. What do you call a gazelle in a lion’s territory? Denzel.

5. Ladies looking for the fruit of the womb, even after having a man, should let that mango!

6. Hummingbirds usually hum when speaking because they don’t know the words to use.

7. How did the bird break into the house? It came with a crow bar!

8. I am tired of the constant ups and downs in my life, so I got to stop using the stairs.

9. Vegetarians don’t always need to purchase their vegetables because their boss also award them with compensatory leave

10. What do bees say when they see an overhyped event? “What’s all the buzz is about.”

11. Tom is the weakest in my class, everyone dared him more than letters

12. What did 1 say to 7? Nice cap!

13. My sign language teacher advised me to practice frequently because her lessons may come in handy

14. I am going to make her love me, my credit score is the only bad thing about me but I’ll make sure I get her a-lone!

15. The path of a con is a difficult maze to understand.

16. How do trees have so many friends? They branch out!

17. The cruelest but funniest thing I’ve ever heard is the doctor telling an amputee he needs more digits for his prosthetic fingers!

18. I gave up on the caring act of telling my friends the dangers of using cotton buds because it always goes in ear and out the other.

19. Three friends can be close one another by being a fan of each other until they experience a misunderstanding that hits the ceiling!

20. An average female is an iron man. I mean, an average Fe-male is an iron man!

Next: 52 Hilarious Jokes 

21. I still don’t know why people always get mad at me for acting mean towards average people. I seriously don’t.

22. My kid bro challenged me to a game I once beat him, I remember the pane on his face, I’m still gonna win-though!

23. It’s so romantic how I always feel a hot spot in my chest whenever I tell my wife-hi.

24. I messed up today, I sent a birthday card to my crippled friend where I told him to break a leg. I hope he doesn’t take it literally cos I mean no harm!

Next: 82 Dark Humor Jokes

25. She said she’s met me at the vegan restaurant last week but I’ve never seen herbivore.

26. What do you call an act of investing in Bill Gates’ business? To Investigate!

27. Swallowing food coloring is dangerous because it could make you die from the inside!

28. After working out for several hours. 

Gym instructor: you need to keep going to attain more power 

Me: watt?!

29. If you know the gravity of your offense you will fall down to you knees.

30. I had a change of heart on my way to get a heart transplant.

Short Jokes: Part 2

31. I am born to be a gymnast with the multiple stunts I pull daily.

32. 50 cent was two steps away from 60 when he was given his meal, why? Because 50 ate.

33. I am glad when I was told the criminal behind the stealing of my sneakers uses a wheelchair, because he can hide but can’t run.

34. My ex said I should get her a birthday gift without expecting anything in return, then I got her a guitar with no string attached to it.

35. I almost forgot what a boomerang was, I’m glad it came back to me!

36. Why would I be laid off from my candle manufacturing company because I refused to work on wick end?

37. What did east say to west? You mustn’t go north when things are going south!

38. Britains don’t know the collective name for spoon, fork and knives. They’d rather call Larry.

39. It’s only right they performed a low-key funeral ceremony for whoever dies while playing the piano!

40. Friend: How did you end up on p#rnhub 

Me: I needed to get need to replace the missing pieces of my chessboard!

Next: 91 Funny But Dumb Jokes 

41. My friend is so short that using him hurdle race would be an easy walk over.

42. My favorite animal is the tiger. I want to be able to do what the tiger-would do without playing golf.

43. My report card appears so magical because it is filled with elfs.

44. Homo habilis are erect, while Australopithecus are not fully erect because they nervous.

45. No matter how you push the envelope it will not leave its stationery position.

Next: 154 Best Dad Jokes 

46. You will hardly find bees working under people because they’re the buzz.

47. It took me three years to find out my sixth grade teacher couldn’t control her pupils because she had lazy eyes.

48. Friend: where is your mask? We are about to rob a bank and you’re going with your face exposed?

Me: that’s why I am on my camouflage jacket.

49. Why is Danny good at all sports? He got athlete foot!

50. Desert jokes always come with sand warm because they always sync in!

Next154 Best Dad Jokes

51. Fungi are always invited on road trip because they don’t occupy mush room.

52. Pastries are nitwits, they donut know anything.

53. I won’t leave the house if I was a spider because I can literally do everything thing on web.

54. At what time of day was Adam created by God? Before Eve!

55. I feel the sadness of skeletons because they literally have no body

56. Whenever I’m in need of assistance, I take only lemonaide.

57. What do you call a cow with an award? Coward!

58. Where do cows go during their leisure hours? The moovies!

59. Why do you always find mushrooms in clubs? They are fun guys!

60. What kind of fruit is always sorry for being a prick? Cactus.

Short Jokes: Part 3

61. It took me years to know why balloons don’t listen to pop music.

62. Bees always get on their worst beehavior whenever they see drakes.

63. What color looks sick? Pale colors

64. What is ground beef? A cow with no legs.

65. I would have said a window joke but it comes with pane.

66. Bee-yoncé is bee’s favorite musician.

67. You can find ghost everywhere except the living room.

68. What is a jewelry with micky mouse design called? Carat!

69. What did the scared fruit say to the banana? Don’t go banana.

70. I would have developed my muscles by working out often but it’s a pro thang!

71. Bees have different nationalities. The ones that reside in the United States are called USB.

72. Where do dogs go to replace their docked tail? The reTail store.

73. The relationship status of bees remain “single” until they finally find their honey!

74. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around relationships. What do you propose is the best time for marriage?

75. Birds can also be religious. The cardinal keeps the church running!

76. Where do you go when you need air and peace? I don’t go anywhere, I just plug in my earpiece.

77. What part of the relationship do bees cherish the most?

Honeymoon!

78. I want to say a joke about bees but you better be ready for Impromptu stings.

79. How did trees have so many friends? They branch out.

80. Bees don’t need to visit the salon to have their hair fixed because they have honeycomb.

Next: 100 Science Jokes 

81. What is a mockingbird? A rude bird!

82. All my friends found their wives online, I even heard the spider brothers also found their wives on the web.

83. All my sixth grade subjects represent a planet. Although I love the solar system I still find it hard to understand Mars.

84. When you hear two people in space say “Comet me bro,” a fight is about to go down.

85. When a priest holds too much mass, just know he’s about to loss weight.

86. Venus broke up with saturn because she desires for a pluto-nic relationship.

87. I wanted to make a joke about the friends I miss but I don’t want to ketchup.

88. The sun never miss classes to achieve its goal of been the brightest.

89. Astronauts don’t eat three square meals, they only feed at launch time.

90. Why is the sun the most educated? Because it has millions of degrees!

91. What is common between a tornado and a sports car driver? They always go for a spin!

92. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

93. If dolphins were to take part in sport, they will avoid basketball because they fear nets.

94. Dolphins often flipper coin before they make a decision.

95. I just want to let you know that I Noah a guy should in case you need an ark! 

96. How does a vampire pay the mortgage? Blood money.

97. Doctor: You’re allergic to milk
      Me: No whey?

98. When did humans first start growing weed? During the Stoned Age

99. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

100. I ordered a book called “How to scam people online” two months ago. It still hasn’t arrived yet.