Breaking a relationship even being deeply in love? It seems inconceivable but sometimes becomes a painful but necessary decision.
Leaving someone you love is an act that is experienced as something unnatural. It does not seem a rational decision. It is not neat and is not in harmony with our world view, makes no sense. If you love someone, you want to be with him right? So why do you suffer if you are doing what supposedly want to do?
The answer is simple: because happiness does not depend on the person you have at hand, but in life that you building. If that life is not what you want. Or if it is not aligned with what you want or what generates your well-being and joy, no couple in the world will be able to make it up. In this dilemma, you have to choose if you’re willing to give up a number of things; and if such waivers affect what you essentially are, your vital sense, then that relationship will not work no matter how much love you have.
When you decide to leave someone you love, it is because for a moment you have an elevated view far beyond the mere relationship and have seen the finite time of your life becoming more finite and running out the minute in frustration and loneliness. This is the final impulse that leads you to do something that in the end. Not only is not against nature, but it is the most natural action that can be conceived: chosen oneself.
Make a decision to separate, and be consistent
People simply move away from each other, which is perfectly normal, they realize that they are looking for different things, no longer share the same interests, and not understand each other, and no longer have a connection.
Staying in a relationship that has no future in the end only cause more wounded feelings on both sides. Therefore, for you, or him/her, it is essential to understand that you are not meant to be together and determine if you are both committed to the termination before you take the first step.
Talk to your partner and explain why you can no longer be with him
Honest communication is the key, lies about your reason for termination, even to protect any feelings of your partner, will only lead to further confusion and misunderstandings.
Further Reading: 11 Things to Do in Your 20’s Instead Of Trying To Find ‘Love’
Divide all the common things
If you are living together, one of you will have to move, so make a list of what each of you will keep. Remove all items in a single step in order to avoid painful encounters in return to your former common area.
Do not rush to see each other again, in order to give time to heal the wounds on both sides
Agree not to see each other a few weeks or a month. Then consider again and evaluate whether it is a good idea to see each other only as friends.
Further Reading: When To Let Him or Her Go – 8 Signs It’s Time to Let Go
Forgive each other
If you still love each other, it should be an easy step. Do not cherish the feeling of bitterness. Admit that you had good times together, so accept the fact that it is time to move on both.
When you find a lot of reasons that starts to torture you every day and when you think about all of them every day and suffer because everything is not the way you want it to be, then it is definitely time to break up this relationship that leads nowhere. No matter how much you love that person, it is healthiest for you to stop the agony and in vain hopes. Because the most important thing for each relationship is that fulfills you completely and makes you happy.
To the loved one…:
“The hardest thing is to leave the one you love. I tighten my heart, hugged him, kissed and said goodbye. I have not turned back, not even once. As if was something holding my shoulders without giving me to turn around. He did not follow me, and so it should be. But, the depth of my soul was still hoping that he will. I hope you’re right. That you are not suffering and that you’re still as joyful while dancing with some stupid song and that you are remembering me by good. I wish you all the luck in the world. And I love you in a way in which probably I will never love anyone again. I’m sorry that we failed.”