We all can be a bit manipulative when we want to convince someone, but the reason for manipulation could be positive or negative.
It is important for us to detect who is manipulating us to get their way because we might not recognize someone beating around the bush. The controlling aspects of manipulators will go unnoticed, and you might lead on to what they are saying, thus, forgetting what you want indeed.
Here are few signs which you must recognize and then deal with them before it is too late.
Do they want you to speak first?
These people will let you go ahead and speak your mind first to identify your strengths and weaknesses.
They will let you talk about your feelings, and the response will depend on information which you give them, while on the other hand, they will not reveal their own personal opinions.
It is better that you also set boundaries, and you must stick to them without letting their thoughts affect you in any way.
Don’t even correct them as you will only indulge yourself in it more.
Is the person using charm?
He might use charm so that you are more willing to accept the upcoming request. For example, the person shall compliment you and then after a while, ask you to do something for them. It only suggests that they are being nice to get their goals met.
They joke how wives could be manipulative, that is, they would cook you a delicious meal and then tell you how she broke the car and needed money to repair it. Right? Thus, you better ignore whatever they are saying and try to be assertive.
Further Reading: Manipulative People: How to Spot them and Stop Playing the Victim
Figure out if they are using coercive behavior
These people can make you do their tasks by being pushy or threatening.
They might say that if you don’t fulfill their wish, they might do something else to harm you in some way or the other. This will help them gain power or control over you if you give in to it.
They might be forcing you to stop the certain behavior or not act in a particular way.
Believe that it is alright to say “no,” and you don’t owe anyone to live life according to them.
They will never be happy till you do what they are asking you to.
Further Reading: How to Cut People Out Of Your Life
Is the person handling facts well?
Facts could be changed by lying or exaggeration and they could also try to show how they know every fact by making it all up. This suggests that the person could be faking about the statistics and could try to prove how intelligent they are or how clever they are, even if they aren’t.
They would withhold information and overwhelm you with all the details regarding a situation that you don’t even know.
Don’t give in to these details and know that you yourself have better knowledge regarding the situation, thus stop believing in everything they say.
Do they overdo things?
This manipulative person might do things for you and put them as if they did you a huge favor.
Then they expect you to return those favors and complain if you do not.
They will fake their tears and tell you how unloved they feel. Stop letting manipulators fool you around as it will only bring down your self-confidence with time.
If you have enough self-respect, you will not allow people to treat you the way they did.
Further Reading: 5 Things to Do When You Think Life Sucks
They are constant blamers
They will accuse you of things gone wrong, and you would end up believing that it is all your fault. Thus, it is better not to let them hurt your pride by blaming you and be very aware of how they are talking to you. Their actions could be wrong, and yes, you could be bit at fault, but make sure you deserve the bashing or not. After all, you are not a ten-year-old kid anymore.
Further Reading: 10 Steps to Take When It Feels like Universe is Working Against You
It’s all under your permission
They have no right to lead on to your life or make you do what you don’t want. You don’t require their permission to do things, and you can make as many mistakes as you want. Cut those people out of your life who don’t let you be you and have so much negativity around you. It is your life after all, and you need to be with like-minded people.