Are you just getting into a relationship and have no clue what goals you should have for yourself and your partner? Or maybe you’re in a long term relationship and you and your partner are thinking about reevaluating your relationship goals? Whether we are talking about a five-month relationship or a five-year relationship, all couples have goals. The type of goals all just depends on your specific relationship. But how do you come up with these goals?
Couple goals are something that we hear about all the time on television and social media. We’re told that couples like Beyoncé and Jay-Z and Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are “couple goals,” however, realistically you can’t base all of your goals off of celebrity couples. Each couple’s goals are going to vary depending on what you are looking to get out of your relationship.
To help you get started on figuring out which goals are right for you and your partner, here are some goals that work for any couple:
1. Be loyal
One crucial thing in a relationship, especially a romantic one, is to be loyal. Without loyalty in your relationship, how else can you expect to trust one another and grow with each other. Being loyal to your relationship can include a wide spectrum of actions.
First and foremost, being loyal can simply mean being faithful to your partner. Remaining loyal or faithful to your partner is one of the most important rules in a relationship.
Loyalty can also mean being there for your partner and making sure that you always have their back. In a relationship, you always need someone to lean on. In most cases, your partner is the person that you spend the most time with, so having their back and knowing that they have yours in case anything goes awry is calming.
2. Spend time with one another
Another big factor in relationships is time. With just 24 hours in a day, sometimes we find it hard to squeeze in everything that we need to do that day. Between work meetings, family gatherings, social clubs, school, etc., you might think that your partner will be okay if you don’t see them this week. However, making intentional time for your partner is important.
When planning out your day or week, make sure you include intentional time with your partner. Planning this intentional time instead of just seeing them when you can is crucial because it will make your partner feel important and not like an afterthought. Planning time together is especially important if you and your partner live together. Living together is not spending time together; be intentional.
In a relationship, communication is key, and I’m not just talking about talking to one another, I’m talking about bringing up any problems about the relationship or problems with your partner. Keeping these problems to yourself can often cause problems within the relationship.
Communication within a relationship helps ease confusion between you and your partner. If you are unhappy or upset about something, let them know instead of keeping them wondering or letting them think you’re okay. Telling your partner about any problems will help build trust between the two, as they might be more comfortable to share with you after you share with them first.
Regular communication with your partner not only helps alleviate problems with your partner, it can also help your personal mental health. If you keep all of your problems and thoughts bottled up inside, it will start to take a toll on your mental health and possibly your partners.
4. Never go to bed angry or upset
So you and your partner have just had a huge argument that ended up with no resolution? Even though you might be tired from the day and from the argument, it is important to follow up with your partner and express how you are feeling. Let them know that you weren’t happy with how you left things, chances are they weren’t either.
Going to bed upset or angry at your partner can lead to lack of sleep, as you might stay up all night thinking of all the different scenarios that could have happened, or those that you wish happened. Going to sleep upset or angry can also cause tension between you and your partner since there was no resolution between the two of you.
5. Have healthy boundaries
Are you the type of person who needs a certain amount of alone time or free time during the day? One thing to talk to your partner about is setting up healthy boundaries. After setting up these boundaries, make sure to follow up on them to see if they are working out between you and your partner. Having these healthy boundaries will help maintain your relationship, while also giving you both some time to grow individually.
Healthy boundaries can include a list of times or circumstances where you’d prefer to be alone, making expectations on intimacy, as well as laying out actions that you don’t enjoy. This can help solve/prevent future conflicts.
6. Know them like you know yourself
Think of it this way: your partner might be the person you spend the rest of your life with, the person you might share a home with, and the person you might start a family with.
One morning, you wake up and want to cook breakfast for your family, but does your partner like eggs and bacon or eggs and sausage? Not only is it good to really know the person who you are sharing a living space with, but knowing everything about them, even the smallest details, can help improve your relationship with your partner. They will notice the little things that you do remember them and it will make them feel special because you cared enough to remember.
7. You can have different opinions about things
A common misconception about relationships is that you and your partner are exactly alike, that you like the same bands, politicians, grocery stores, books, or television shows. However, mature couples acknowledge that they have differences in taste and different opinions.
You like Target but your partner prefers Walmart, or maybe they like Starbucks while you prefer Dunkin’. These differences in views and likes are good, it shows that you are your own person outside of your partner. Couples with healthy relationships accept that they are not identical nor do they think exactly the same.
While it is a good thing that you and your partner have different views or opinions and likes, there are some things that you need to keep in mind. You should not hold their different views against them or make fun of them for thinking that way. Putting your partner down because of their different viewpoints can potentially hinder your relationship.
8. You always feel like you’re in the honeymoon phase
Everyone knows that the beginning of a relationship is often the happiest and carefree time in a relationship. This is called the honeymoon phase of a relationship. However, most of the time this phase, as all phases do, comes to an end. Here, couples start to experience their first fights or arguments.
Couples that have healthy boundaries and healthy relationships with their partners might find that they are feeling like they are still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. This feeling of happiness and freedom will make you and your partner feel more connected to one another, as you aren’t spending as much time fighting or arguing.
9. Remember and uphold your wedding vows (if married)
Wedding vows aren’t just meant to be said at your wedding and forgotten, they are promises that you make to your partner to uphold. Whether they are silly ones like “I promise to hold your hair back when you puke,” or serious ones like “I promise to take care of you the best I can,” make sure to carry them out. Your partner will notice this and remember the promise you made to them.
10. Travel together
Road Trips to see family and friends back home, romantic getaway weekend, a family trip to a theme park. These are all reasons to travel with your partner. It is good for the two of you to get out of your everyday routine for a week or so. Relax and take time to learn how one another is doing.
Overall, each couple’s goals are going to be different depending on their relationship and what they are hoping to achieve with it, however, these are some basic building blocks for those who need it. From simply being loyal to your partner to travelling across the country or world together, there are possibly millions of goals that couples can have. You just have to get out there and figure out what works best for you and your partner.
Remember to be loyal to your partner, plan intentional time with your partner, communicate with them, and set healthy boundaries with your partner. If you have any of these goals in your relationship, it will surely help your relationship grow and blossom.