I survived for three months without her. But then, on a rainy day, a cold breeze of her memories whirls around my body.
Yes, Christina, she was back in my Life again.
I tried my best to stay away from her. I kept myself busy but that rainy day I just couldn’t.
I again texted her, and we started the conversation one more time.
This time it was quite different, and it felt to me like she missed me too.
In the past, she never really cared about me nor ever texted me first.
I have realized this thing after having fought in the relationship – your love only grows. You realize the importance of the opposite person.
Our story was progressing as calm as a sea. We didn’t have any fight for nearly two months.
We were hanging together & enjoying each other’s company.
It was dusk; we were just randomly talking to each other.
“Hi, Christina,” said I.
“Hey,” Christina answered.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Yes, sure? said I.
“I have a huge crush on Luke” Christina answered
I was in a shock for few seconds.
The girl of my dreams just told me she is not in love with me. I was in a dilemma, what can I do?
What if she says ‘No,’ if I confess my love to Christina. Our friendship will be gone, and I would be heartbroken forever.
Surely, I just can’t put the friendship on the line. I remained quiet even though my heart was on fire.
I told Christina, I will help you.
She just smiled back with a spark in her eyes.
I still remember the day when she had a fight with Luke & told me she was almost giving up. I asked her the reason for her fight she answered Luke doesn’t seem to have any interest in me.
Christina told me how she was getting ignored by the person whom she loves the most.
Luke was never in love with Christina, and he was a douche bag.
She was crying & depressed, but selfishly, I felt inspired because when things went wrong, it was me she desires. Well, on the other hand, I was numb. I asked her to keep calm & let time heal her.
I try to comfort her; you are never alone, I’m always here for you. And what suffocates me is when you love someone, and they love someone else who doesn’t love them back.
Things were not getting right; she used to have a brawl with Luke every single day. It was Deja Vu for Christina as she had a break-up with Luke. After her break up I used to take care of Christina.
I didn’t realize when our friendship was getting converted to Love. The girl of my dreams was not in my dreams anymore. She was with me in reality too. But the most painful thing is when you consider infatuation as Love.
Everyone doesn’t have the same thinking what I think was Love it was just a mere shadow. I was forcing Christina to love me back as I was giving all my soul.
I wish I have understood this earlier that Love can never be bought before taking this drastic step.
One fine day, I decided, I’m gonna propose her no matter what her answer is, I’m just going to tell her.
Without any fear in my eyes, I told Christina, “It’s a wonderful feeling to be loved & wanted, right? And it must feel more amazing when the other person just never gives up on you, even after a million denials, a hopeless love story.
I’m not gonna lie anymore I have loved you from the beginning. It was the love at first sight.
I told how her voice uses to cast a spell on me which was not taught even at Hogwarts.
She was senseless for few seconds, but she replied, “Yes I Do.”
I hugged her tight like she was the answer when someone asked the reason why I was still breathing. That was the real moment when everything stood still for me. I just wish I could pause the time.
For me, Christina is what rain is for the desert.
It was perfect for few days. I was in heaven, but you know, love plays a game with us.
Christina was still not over her ex on every topic she uses to discuss Luke.
I was annoyed because I was not getting the love from Christina which I desperately wanted. In our relationship, I was the only one to care, Christina doesn’t seem to have any affection towards me.
Problems of Christina bothers me, but problems of mine don’t bother Christina.
After all these months it was still one-sided.
One day I randomly checked her mobile when she was in a bathroom taking a bath.
A message pops up; it was the familiar name on the screen “Luke.”
She was chatting with Luke daily, without even letting me know. I was broken. I nearly passed out after seeing their conversation.
I talked to Christina, and I told her it feels like I’m the old comfy tee you like to wear but you don’t want to be seen wearing it.
I told Christina that you are playing games with me.
If you love Luke why did you said Yes to my proposal? Christina replied, “I didn’t want to break your heart” that’s why I said “Yes.”
Our love story was short but beautiful. Like a paper-boat which floats & then disappears.
On a starry night, I was looking at the stars & talking to myself that it feels like I’m forcing Christina to love me. Seeing her happy with someone else doesn’t kill anymore. Because it is her happiness that I always wished for. So I decided to walk away from her life.
Surely I can’t be that cruel; she is in love with Luke, not me. I need to accept this truth.
“Don’t leave me.”
I wanted to say but I couldn’t.
I Was tired of begging people to love me.
Falling in love with Christina was like falling from the cliff.
At first, you fear the fall, but then the adrenaline kicks in, and it’s like you are floating in the air.
You feel protected by this invisible rope of trust, and you delude yourself into thinking that it will last.
But then reality kicks in, the rope breaks, and you fall to the ground, broken, paralyzed and alone to comprehend what just happened.
Christina had a relationship with Luke for few month’s, but then again they broke up. Becuase Luke was only looking friends with benefits relationship.
Now, Christina is married to Harry according to the will of her parents.
The irony is Christina looked for Luke in every guy she met, but after few years she is married to Harry who has absolutely nothing in common with Luke.
In the past, just the thought of Christina would bring waves of emotions in my head. Now the waves are still as wild. The only difference is I’ve learned to surf.
It really hurts when you love someone with all your heart, and they don’t love you back. And it’s neither your or their fault because you don’t get to choose who you love.