When you see someone you like your first thought is not whether they are a single mom. In fact, it is quite possible this won’t come up in your initial conversations. But, it is almost certain to be mentioned before, or when, you ask her on a date.
Of course, in some situations, you will be aware that she is a single mom before you even speak to her. But, regardless of how you find out, discovering that the lady you like is a single mom means adapting your usual approach to dating.
If you adopt the following tips to start dating a single mom, it will make it easier for both of you, and potentially a lot of fun!
Consider Your Position First
Dating is fun and you don’t know if she wants something serious or not. But, you have to consider the possibility of this happening and be prepared for it. When you first start dating a single mom you should be looking to get to know them and enjoy their company. This is the same as any new relationship.
But, you do need to be mindful that they have children and, if it gets serious, you could become a step-parent. If you are not comfortable with this then walk away, but have the decency to tell the single mom why.
It is also important to remember when dating a single mom, that they are not the only one with baggage, you have your own baggage and you are asking them to take that on. As with any relationship, it is all about give and take.
Ignore What Others Say
If you are constantly concerned about what others will say, such as what do other guys think about dating a single mom, then you are not ready for this relationship.
While good friends will offer honest opinions, you are the one in the relationship and it is what you think that matters.
If you have the right mindset you are ready to start dating a single mom.
Being Flexible Is Essential
A single mom will have a lot of demands on her time. They are likely to be working as well as doing their best to raise well-adjusted children. It can be stressful and there are plenty of times when they will be let down by babysitters, childminders, or simply because the child is ill.
That means you need to be very flexible. There will be times when she can’t make a date and you have to either accept the cancellation or come up with a viable alternative. For example, when a night at the cinema is cancelled due to a babysitter not showing up, it is possible to watch a movie at her house instead. She will appreciate the gesture.
Equally, there are rare occasions when a single mom has unexpected free time. If you can be flexible about meeting and what you do, then you may be in for some very pleasant surprises.
One of the best tips for dating a single mom is to create your own list of things to do. In many cases, single moms have to handle all the decisions and the stress of having children. They often appreciate you have ideas regarding what to do, it eliminates their stress and ensures they appreciate you and the time you have together.
Let her Talk About Her Kids
When you are dating a single mom you know that they have children and that they are an important part of her life. In fact, her children are likely to always be her top priority. As such, you need to let her talk about her children, as long as that is not all she does.
When she talks about her children it gives you an opportunity to get to know them before you meet them. It can also help her to offload, allowing her to unwind and enjoy the date. Of course, you also need to be able to talk about other things. If not, your relationship is unlikely to develop and you may both be wasting your time.
Reconsider Your Romantic Approach
You may have a preconceived romantic approach that generally works with women. When you try this with a single mom you are likely to find that it isn’t very effective. You need to rethink the romance. Simpler may be better.
Single moms are generally very busy, when they have a little time off they don’t need huge romantic gestures. Instead, they want to be able to spend time with an adult. You will find it is the small things that make a difference, such as holding her hand while walking or even picking up a takeaway for her.
Naturally, a single mom still wants to have fun. But the simple gestures show her you care while relieving a little pressure. There is no better gift!
Follow Her lead Regarding The Children
This is often considered the most essential of all the tips for dating a single mom. You must remember that these are her children and she is in charge of disciplining them. You are her date and, while playing with them will show your date how good you are with kids, disciplining them will quickly turn the mom against you.
These are her children and she is raising them in the way she thinks is best, interfering with this process is a recipe for disaster.
If you do have any concerns over their behavior, then mention it to your date and let them deal with it.
Don’t Get Involved With Her Ex
If you are dating a single mom then you are not the first. However, just because you are the current partner, doesn’t mean you have to take on the ex. They split up for a reason and they have at least one child together.
The relationship between her and her ex may be harmonious or it could be very tense. Regardless of which scenario it is, one thing is certain. If you try to jump in the middle you will antagonize both of them.
Be supportive, make sure your new partner knows you are there for them, and stay well clear unless she specifically requests it. You will then have to consider whether it is a good idea to get involved.
Be Emotionally Supportive
You may not realize it but a single mom is under a huge amount of pressure. Having children means committing to financially and emotionally supporting them. This can be hard work, especially if they are not being paid much.
They will not want your financial support but you can offer an emotional shoulder. Let your single mom girlfriend tell you all about their bad day. This is all the emotional support they need. You can then show them a good time, just make sure you have actually been listening to their issues. Your suggestions may be good or bad but the fact that someone is listening to her makes a big difference!
Show Her You Are Trustworthy
When you are dating a single mom you will quickly realize they don’t have a lot of spare time and do need to change plans at the last minute. It can be hard. But, most single moms will have tried dating and come across partners that haven’t been trustworthy. In short, they have let her down.
That means she can find it hard to trust any partner especially when her primary concern is stability for her kids. You can show her you are trustworthy by doing the things you say you are going to do.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the gesture, if you say you are going to do it, then do so. It will show your date you are trustworthy.
Honesty is essential in any relationship but especially important when dealing with children. If you have concerns or are developing strong feelings tell her. She will appreciate your honesty and it can help move the relationship to the next level if that is what you both want.
Final Thoughts When Dating A Single Mom
All relationships can be challenging but if you are about to start dating a single mom it is essential to stop thinking about what other guys think about dating a single mom and follow these tips for dating a single mom.
If you genuinely like her then there is room for the relationship to grow and flourish. But, you need to be honest with yourself from the start. No matter how great she looks, if you can’t handle the thought of children, you need to have the decency to walk away.
But, if children don’t scare you then build the relationship slowly, allow her to lead regarding her children, and make the most of the time you have together. There will be those that tell you not to bother but, if you are committed, you never know where the relationship can take you!