There are situations in which the wisest thing that a person can consider is to stop being in love. This happens when you are in an unhappy relationship. When you have spent years trying to forget an ex. Or when you have a platonic love in front of you.
Falling in love with your best friend can become a complex situation, which often awakens very intense feelings. In this context, maturity is the key to managing the situation when you don’t want to lose friendship and affection. Knowing how to make a wise decision will determine the smooth running of the relationship in the future. Whether as friends or as a couple. Far from romantic ideals, sometimes killing love in a conscious way is the best option.
A lot to gain and a lot to lose
There are many stories of friendship that have been broken because love has appeared between two inseparable companions. But stories and love adventures have also been written that have arisen from the unique connection that a couple of good friends have felt.
The line between friendship and romantic love is fragile. That is why many individuals believe that it isn’t possible to cherish friendly feelings between two people of the opposite sex who have learned to love each other as brothers without being family. And it is that when a true friend connects deeply with us and our needs, something more than a simple friendship can arise.
In these cases, the question arises whether it is worth risking everything and losing that person so important to us.
Surely you ask yourself: “And what can I do in these cases?” You will find the answer to this question if you keep reading the following lines. Here you will delve into a series of tips to overcome impossible love. So pay attention, because your emotional stability is at stake.
Further Reading: 10 Reasons To Avoid Relationships in Your 20’s
In any process of lovelessness, if it is what you want to forget, it is necessary to stop having contact with your love object. Every time you see that person (or remember him/her) your brain circuit of the reinforcement is activated. That elicits again the neurochemical cascade of falling in love.
Actually, love acts almost like a drug. That means that it makes us all the time tend to detect aspects of the present that remind us of that person. Although apparently, they have nothing to do with it. Many things that we perceive refer us to those memories, based on real or imagined events. And in this way, we begin to be frustrated by not being able to return to those times when we didn’t experience the pain of loss. So, you have to fight against this vicious circle by avoiding “exposure” to that person.
That doesn’t mean that you cannot see her again. But, it is necessary that the brain circuit weakens. And for this, it is necessary that a more or less long time passes until it happens. The time required depends on many factors: your self-esteem, the social support you have, the past experiences you have had, etc. So be patient, because it can go long, although the degree of serenity that is achieved makes it compensate.
Further Reading: When to Give Up on a Relationship
This kind of love is, as the name suggests, impossible. It is not easy to accept, but although this affirmation sounds hard, this is part of life. Surely you cannot avoid that impossible love hurts you, but what does depend on you is your attitude towards this phenomenon and the time you want to remain anchored to suffering. To continue and overcome it, you have to accept it; otherwise, you will only be avoiding reality.
If you feel that you are having difficulty in overcoming it and that the pain has taken over your life, you don’t have to guard it for yourself. Obviously, you shouldn’t go telling it to everyone. You can say it to someone in your family to give you his support and be there for you in the most delicate moments. This will help you release some of the pain and allow you to have someone to trust.
Further Reading: Love vs. Infatuation – 21 Tell-Tale Signs
Go on with your life and love yourself
It is important that you don’t obsess and paralyze. To overcome this situation, it is necessary that you continue with your life. You set goals that fit your own desires and fight to achieve your goals. You must make sense of your life because if you aren’t happy with yourself and you don’t fight to be happy, you can hardly overcome it.
For this, it is even better for you to do things that you don’t want but that you know will work well in the long run. Like socializing more, exercising, etc. The idea is to keep you going.
Seek psychological help
In some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinks, coming to experience situations that are truly paralyzing and problematic for their own health and quality of life. Maybe, for example, there is a problem with self-esteem. Or a deficit of social skills in the background, which doesn’t allow you to get out of this emotionally fatiguing situation.
If you have tried to overcome it on your own and you see that you aren’t moving forward, perhaps you should go to psychological therapy. A mental health professional will give you the chance to know and develop different tools to improve your well-being.