Each relationship is unique. You can’t compare your relationship to the relationship your parents or neighbours have, because we each have a different personality. We can, however, categorize relationships. One of the categories we can use is ‘female-led relationships’. As you can probably guess, this is a relationship where the female takes the lead and is ultimately the dominant partner. So what role does the male have in this relationship? Does he get a say in things too, or is his job to obey? We’d like to tell you more about female-led relationships and why they’re becoming more popular.


What does a female-led relationship mean?

Female led relationship

We’ve long lived with the thought that men should be the dominant ones in the relationship and that women are a rank beneath men. Maybe you’re in one of those relationships yourself. That era is starting to come to an end. We’re realizing that women have just as much say in things as men do, and they have every right to let their voice be heard. There’s no longer this belief that women are weaker than men, and that women can’t do anything without men. If you really think about it, what can men do which women can’t? Can you come up with at least 3 things? While we don’t yet have a formal definition for a female-led relationship, a female-led relationship stands for the woman being the authority figure and being in charge. It’s a change in dynamics from what our ancestors believed in.


Why some wives like to dominate

There are tons of reasons why women seek a dominant male in a relationship, but why would a woman want to dominate in a relationship? There are women out there who want a female-led relationship because they get to be in control of every aspect from finances to household chores. Now, this doesn’t mean they’re some kind of control-freak, it just means they like to have everything organized and want to do it themselves to make sure it gets done right. It makes them feel more confident because they know everything is sorted, and they don’t have to worry about playing catch-up. 

But that’s not the only reason women want to get in a female-led relationship. Some women believe that a female-led relationship is perfect for moulding their man into whoever they want them to be. A female-led relationship would give them the chance to ensure her man meets her expectations so she has her ideal partner. The men in these relationships often don’t mind their wives trying to change them and actually enjoy being moulded into a different person as they feel like it’s making them a better person. Honestly, this is just a win-win situation for both people if they feel the same.

Of course, there are also other reasons why a female-led relationship is an ideal choice for some women and men alike. One of them being that there’s a lack of power struggles. You both know where you stand with each other so you won’t experience stress or tension by trying to out rule each other. You both know where you stand and who takes on what role. Some women also enjoy taking care of their men to such an extent that they want to take care of every aspect in their life. The men also seem to enjoy this because everything has been taken care of. Remember that one couple where you were getting strong alpha vibes from the female in the relationship? There’s a good chance that they’re in a female-led relationship.


Different types of female-led relationships

Female led relationship

As we’ve said before, each relationship is unique. This means that each female led relationship is also unique. A female-led relationship is a category itself, but this can also be divided into four subcategories.


1. Low-level female control

In a low-level female-led relationship, the woman has low authority. A lot of normal relationships are low-level female control. Decisions are made mutually by the man and the woman. In this scenario, the woman doesn’t necessarily take control. She’s allowed to take the lead in certain scenario’s but needs to discuss other decisions with her husband. A big percentage of women will find themselves in this group.


2. Moderate-level female control

When a woman is in a moderate-level female-led relationship, the woman decides how dominant she wants to be. Normally speaking, she would be the leader in the relationship and make the day-to-day decisions, but she is the one who defines where her limit is regarding decision making. The man in the relationship often enjoys his wife’s decision making but is allowed to make decisions when his wife doesn’t want to. At this stage, we’re starting to see the female become more dominant, but we’re not quite at the ultimate female-led relationship yet.


3. Determined control

This is where the woman gains more control over the relationship. Decisions are made by the woman while she also takes on typical male roles like being the moneymaker in the family. There is still a catch to this level of control though. The areas where the woman is dominant are clearly defined. This way, there can be no confusion as to who carries what responsibilities. Most of the time important decisions are still made together just like every other relationship.


4. Extreme control

When a woman has complete control in the relationship, we’re talking about extreme control. The woman has the ultimate power in the relationship and calls all the shots. She enjoys servitude by her husband. In relationships like this, the man doesn’t mind the level of control his wife has. In fact, most of the time he enjoys it. This doesn’t mean that the man doesn’t contribute anything to the relationship. Important life-changing decisions can still be made mutually.


Do female-led relationships work?

Needless to say, female-led relationships aren’t for everyone. In order for a female-led relationship to work, both parties involved need to agree to the terms and have respect for the choices made. Giving up control over certain aspects of your life isn’t something to take lightly. This doesn’t mean that female-led relationships don’t work. In fact, they work great. However, it won’t work if you have two personalities who both want to take control. This will cause the power struggle we were talking about at the very beginning. Loyalty, trust and humor are important in a relationship, but can you imagine a relationship where you never know where you stand with your partner? It sucks. A female-led relationship works best when you have a submissive man and a dominant woman. Keep in mind though, female-led relationships still require both the man and the woman to have respect for each other and discuss important things with each other.


Why do men seek a female-led relationship?

Female led relationship

You might be wondering why a man would seek a female-led relationship. Shouldn’t the man be the one in charge? See, now that’s exactly where the mistake is made. Female-led relationships are precisely about breaking the barrier and letting the female take charge. Women can obviously enjoy this kind of relationship, but a relationship doesn’t work unless there are two parties involved. This must mean that there are also men who actually enjoy a female-led relationship. So why do these men enjoy a female-led relationship? 

First of all, a man can enjoy this kind of relationship because he doesn’t have to make any difficult decisions or worry about the consequences of those decisions. He doesn’t carry the responsibility of what happens as a result of the decision. This can be comforting to some. Furthermore, there’s no power struggle between the man and the woman. They both know where they stand and know what they can expect. 

There’s also the men who have been taken care of their whole lives. Be it by their mother or a different woman. This allowed them to focus on their career or hobbies more,and they’ve always enjoyed this way of life. Suddenly having to make these decisions yourself can be overwhelming, so it would be comforting to find a woman who also enjoys a female-led relationship.


Creating balance in a female-led relationship

Although a female-led relationship can be fairly clear when it comes to boundaries, it’s important to create a balance. The man in the relationship still has a vital role to play, and it’s important that you both know where you stand when it comes to his balance. Just like any other relationship, communication is key. It’s important for the woman to encourage her man to take initiative and take responsibility for his part in the relationship. This doesn’t mean that you have to act like his mother and constantly nag him to do things. It’s about a mutual respect. 

A simple conversation about what you expect from each other at the beginning of the relationship should be the building foundation for this respect. Although the woman is the leader in a female-led relationship, a man should still be able to contribute his thoughts, and the woman should take these into consideration. Respect is the most important thing in a relationship. 

Whenever you feel that the balance is off, or something should change, it’s time to communicate again. If you feel like talking to each other about this balance doesn’t solve anything, professional help could bet the way to go. If that still doesn’t work, it’s best to take a break and try again once things have cooled down. Maybe you’ll both have a fresh perspective on things after a cooldown period. Don’t forget that a relationship is only successful if you’re both happy.