It’s hard to resist the temptation not to move in with your partner when you two are madly in love. Sometimes you realize that you can’t bear being away from each other, you’re constantly chatting or talking on the phone and don’t want to lose a single minute away from your partner. However, even in the most committed relationships, that doesn’t always happen.
Don’t worry, there will indeed come the right time when you feel that you’re ready to take the step forward and move in together! But before, you should consider some things to avoid moving too soon and save your perfect relationship.
Living with your partner before marriage was considered something unacceptable in the past but things have drastically changed afterward. As PRC states, nowadays 63% of young couples who start living together before getting married have a better chance to maintain a successful relationship. But it doesn’t mean that you should do the same right now!
Do you think you’re ready to move in with your partner? Well, you should better take some time to think twice about it because the latest research proves there are some things you should consider before making this big decision that will definitely affect your relationship in some way.
How To Know If You’re Not Ready To Move In
Sometimes things just don’t feel right. You surely want to live with your partner but you think about small details that can later turn into important problems. Psychologists suggest that considering common problems in relationships after moving together will help you maintain a healthy and steady relationship with your partner. Let’s discuss the warning signs that indicate you’re not 100% ready to move in.
1. You disagree with your partner while making future plans together.
Agreement on future plans is one of the most important things in long-term relationships. If you haven’t decided to stay with your partner for so long and he or she thinks the same, that’s okay. But if you’re thinking of maintaining your relationship for years, you should definitely figure out your future plans.
Maybe your partner wants to get married to you and have kids but you don’t like the idea of traditional families and have completely different plans. Maybe, you want to rent a small apartment while your partner is dreaming about investing all the funds in a big villa. Or maybe, you dream of traveling together while your partner plans to focus on the career. Needless to say, all those things will cause trouble in your relationship. So if you disagree, then you should probably think more about moving in.
2. You’ve never considered cohabitating about finances.
Before moving in, you need to realize that you and your partner are going to have mutual responsibilities in every aspect of life. You will have to share bills and spend money on everything for your house together. But if there’s only one of you working, then things may get complicated.
Of course, it doesn’t mean it’s not negotiable but you should cohabitate about the finances as soon as possible. Just have an honest conversation about your income and how much you’re going to spend either on the rent or on everyday expenses and make sure you both meet each others’ expectations.
3. Your partner’s habits are far different from yours.
Another warning sign that it’s too soon to move together is the fact that you notice your habits don’t match. Even if you’ve been together on summer vacation or spent several nights at each other’s houses, it’s not enough to find out everything about your partner’s habits.
But still, by taking a look at his or her house, you can easily see if they like to tidy up the house or not and whether it’s acceptable for you. Your partner may be a night owl, spending the whole night watching Netflix or enjoying working at night. If you’re an early bird it may be a problem. If your partner’s habits related to eating, sleeping, taking a shower, watching TV, or other everyday activities don’t match yours, living together can be messy.
4. You don’t feel completely comfortable while spending a night with your partner.
If you spend most of the nights with your partner, you probably know a lot about their everyday habits. You know how they look when they are sleeping, when they get up, and more. But that’s not enough. You should be sure that there’s nothing that makes you uncomfortable while spending a night with your partner because it will become your everyday routine.
Most importantly, living together will take your intimacy level on a whole different level. Remember that sometimes you may be a little bit upset about your partner but waking up every day with them in the morning shouldn’t be irritating to you.
5. You want to move together to fix the flaws in your relationship.
It’s hard to find a single couple who don’t have any problems in their relationship. Usually, clear communication can fix all those issues. But if you still couldn’t agree with them on certain things, don’t even consider that moving together can improve your relationship. Some couples believe that moving in will get them closer to each other and that way they can overcome relationship flaws. But actually, it will only make things worse. It’s true that it can be a new and enjoyable experience in the beginning, but your problems won’t disappear after you get used to living together. So, consider hiring a couple therapist instead of destroying your future by making the wrong decision.
Do You Feel Like You’re Ready For The Next Step?
After considering all of these warning signs of moving in together, you may still feel that you’re ready for taking this big step and start living with your partner. But slow down, everything’s not over yet! Even if you agree on most of the things, accept each other’s daily habits, and have already planned a future together, it can still be a little bit too early for moving in.
Because it doesn’t matter how much you love your partner, how well you get along with each other, and how much you want to move in. One of the most important things that you should carefully pay attention to is your mental and emotional state. Sometimes, people think that everything looks perfect, nothing is holding you back but surprisingly, you’re not mentally prepared to start a new life with your partner.
The reasons can be different. For example, you may be just used to your old life and find it hard to adapt to a new lifestyle. Or you may be over-focused on your work and career, not ready to put your private life ahead of your job. In any way, moving in means new challenges, new problems, and a new way of living. That’s why you should be prepared either mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially.
Things To Consider Before Moving In
If none of the above-mentioned things concern you and your partner, chances are high that you’re ready to move in. But just being emotionally ready is not enough for getting fully prepared. In fact, there are some things that you and your partner need to agree about with each other. Just ask your partners the following questions and try to find answers together in order to set your future plans.
- How will you divide household expenses? Who will be in charge of paying the bills, rent, or shopping?
- Will you have a private space after moving in? How will you maintain privacy in a relationship?
- What are possible problems that may come up in your relationship? How will you overcome them?
- What will happen if you break up? Who will keep your mutual possessions?
- What can you do to keep your relationship healthy and lively after moving in together?
Should We Take Time Or Not?
Although we can’t tell you an exact answer, we hope that now, after reading the possible signs that it’s too soon to move together, you realize whether you really want to do this. Still, answering that question absolutely depends on the specific couple.
Even if you feel that you’re totally prepared to start a new life with your partner, they may have trouble adapting to your needs. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. All it means is that they need private space sometimes, they are not ready mentally and prefer to take some time to get closer to you and your habits.
So, if you see that after discussing all the things of mutual interest, you, your partner, or both of you still hesitate to some degree, just take more time. It will help you sort out things, establish clear expectations about living together and make the right decision. Consequently, your relationship will get stronger during that time, and finally, you’ll be ready to move in.
To sum up, moving together with your loved one is accompanied by plenty of benefits. You’ll have more time to spend together than ever and you won’t miss your partner anymore. However, no matter how much you love each other, be ready that some problems will appear in your relationship. Just don’t panic, don’t think it’s the end of your relationship, and try to have clear communication with your partner. But do not compromise, you have to agree on everything important either for you or for them. That way you will choose a proper time for moving together with your partner more easily.