It is not easy and it is not simple when a person is alone. When there is nobody to be with him to encourage him, to smile, to help him and to share with him your everyday life.
Fear of loneliness
Facing solitude can be terrifying and painful. The very thought of loneliness on many people seems like a threat. Fear of loneliness often arises as a result of some of our irrational beliefs that limit us and make us alive. Also, beliefs like “I can’t live alone” or “I value less if I don’t have a partner” leads us to make it necessary for us to have anyone in our life. And therefore we come into the situation of entering or staying in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill us and doesn’t satisfy us. Staying with a person who is not what we need and what we deserve.
Fear of loneliness can lead us to the fact that we are always somewhere where something is happening, to be surrounded by a crowd of people, superficial acquaintances. It can lead us to alcohol, drugs, deep depression. The fear of loneliness prevents us from deciding in real terms what is really what fills us, makes us happy and satisfied with the human being.
Being alone is not easy, it is often very difficult, but being with someone and being lonely at the same time is even harder.
Further Reading: 25 Things To Do When You Feel Alone and Lonely
I am alone
Seems like there are just a few people who haven’t met loneliness. There are periods when we feel lost, lonely, helpless, and hopeless. These periods of life usually come after some stressful situations: separation with a partner, death of a close person, relocation. Then we forget everything we knew.
There are other reasons for a lonely life such as shyness, insecurity, a sense of unacceptability. For most people, the life of a single person looks dark and makes them more vulnerable. But there are also those who enjoy a single life and live their life to the fullest. What is the fact is that the solitary is an increasingly common phenomenon – people with the status of “solo” are more and more.
Most of the difficulties, troubles and the problems of life alone are known or can be assumed.
But let’s be encouraged to look at the benefits of this kind of life, such as independence and freedom. We can organize our time independently and we have the possibility of making decisions on our own. We organize social life as it suits us, we dress as we like, eat what we love.
Further Reading: 10 Things To Give Up If You Want To Be Happy
How to deal with the life of a solo player
Although there are a number of advantages of living a life alone, we often cannot accept the benefits of such a life. We simply lose ourselves and don’t know what to do with ourselves.
What is the most important is to accept the situation the way it is now and not to regret or invoke a past, whatever it was. Let’s take a look at ourselves and say to ourselves, “All right, you are alone and what now, what could you do to fulfill your life, to learn to enjoy what you currently have?”
Simple things that provide joy in solitude:
- The place where you live should be the most beautiful place in the world for you. Arrange it so that you feel relaxed and comfortable in it, just the way you love it.
- Look in the mirror and see if you have something to change about yourself: hairstyles, hair color, regulate the weight. Whatever you like. Also, give yourself time and go along with activities to achieve a change that will mean to you.
- Start to acquire new habits through the things you love: nature, recreation, museums, books, movies, cooking. In accordance with your obligations create new routines: one to two times a week of cinema, walking, library, gym, etc.
- Get for yourself one, two, three hobbies, have some new interests and start learning.
- Connect with people who are dealing with similar interests. You will be surprised to have good people in this world with whom you can spend some time in nice and constructive conversations. Maybe the friendship is a skill taught from childhood, but it is never too late. In groups with similar interests, you will find someone with whom you can get in closer contact.
- If you have friends or relatives, don’t wait for them to call you. Call them back and remind them that you exist. Get in touch, organize some meeting and get out.
- Allow yourself a nice trip. Depending on the financial possibilities: from hiking trails, tours of places in your country to distant destinations. Every departure from everyday life fills with new energy, new knowledge, and new enthusiasm. Overcome shyness and go. You will enjoy yourself.
- If you are addicted to TV and the Internet, limit your time.
- Get a pet. Just be aware that you assume the responsibilities and obligations for the other living being for many years. But that will make you happy.
- Think about what you wanted to do and you never did. And then, do it now.
- Make a list of your goals and also plans to achieve these goals.
- Hang out with your thoughts. Be aware of them. How do your thoughts flow? If they are negative, start changing them. Consciously and systematically change your negative thoughts. Stop any negative thoughts coming up; don’t give it your attention. Because, our thoughts can be our best friends, but also the worst enemies.
Further Reading: 8 Things You Can Do to Be Happy; In Hard Situations
How to be an emotional support to yourself
In conclusion, it is most important to be a self-support. At the end of each day tell yourself what you’ve been doing. And when you see what you did on that day, tell yourself how proud and happy you are. Smile to yourself and become conscious of what you are capable of. Also, say to yourself that there is no need for fear and sorrow because you have fulfilled your day. You’ve fulfilled yourself too.