Not all friendships are eternal and, as in the relationships, sometimes breakups can be the moments that produce a lot of pain to us. This happens especially when we talk about close friends and that we consider them, somehow, essential in our lives.
With “more peripheral” friends, what usually happens, rather than a great rupture by a disagreement, is a gradual and continuous separation in time. The damage caused by these types of absences is usually less painful, and the relationship often remains in a good memory and a friendly, even pleasant treatment.
Anyway, keep in mind that you can take care of friendship, but sometimes, as much as you put you cannot prevent the relationship from breaking. It’s a thing of two, even when we talk about a group of friends it can be several things.
Here are some ideas to make that break not become a drama and that can be carried out in the least harmful way possible. In other words – do it like a real grown up!
Admit your mistakes
We all make mistakes, and you are no exception, but what matters here is that you are able to admit it.
There is nothing more frustrating for anyone than to argue with someone who never admits his mistakes. It is common for friends to let us pass some mistakes that actually hurt them and at this point is where you shouldn’t deny or minimize.
Think about whether it’s really worth losing something valuable because of pride. No longer friendship, but good memories…
Admitting that you are wrong is a big step, but often lose its charm if it isn’t accompanied by a sincere apology. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic. It is enough with an apology that is sincere, without direct or disguised aggression.
Further Reading: 10 Things You Should Never Apologize For
Do not make assumptions
Focus on what has actually happened. Do not fall into the temptation to make assumptions about why the other person has done something.
You’d be surprised to know the number of times we made a mistake in our assumptions.
If the friendship ends because the other person did you a lot of harm, this point may seem almost impossible.
Experience says that we are more sympathetic with our mistakes than with others.
Further Reading: 8 Ways To Differentiate Real Friends And Toxic Friends
Do not project your insecurities
It is very common that we project some insecurity on the other person without realizing it. This means that we believe that our friend is thinking something that he doesn’t really think, but that actually you are the one who has that in his head.
Avoid questions such as: “What do you think of me? That I am a failure?” Before you say it, analyze if it is not you who thinks like this.
Do not bring the past
Very important, focus on the present. Discuss, talk, feel bad or not, but by current events. Do not aim in this conversation things that are distant past. Good and bad moments or memories – it’s better not to touch them.
Further Reading: 5 Ways to Help a Stressed-out Friend
Do not involve anyone
You may be tempted to talk to other friends to corroborate your story, which gives us the feeling that we are not wrong in judgment that we have done to the other person. However, along with the way we can do much more harm than we imagine.
Do not force others to issue their judgments because that, in the end, will make you look bad. On the other hand, avoid spreading any rumour. Things are not always what they seem to be.