In recent years, the term “simp” has risen in popularity among circles on the internet. Typically used to describe men, “simp” refers to someone that lacks self-respect and sees someone else as their superior. This usually takes place in a sexual manner, such as falling for someone that sells content that revolves around their sexual attraction and appeal. Critics of such a simp point toward the inability to rely on themselves for validation and decision-making. While the term may be overused in some situations, many agree that simps lack a certain level of free will and autonomy.
If you are not sure of whether you are a simp or not, you may want to look at your relationships. Respecting women does not make you a simp at all but having unrealistic views on them can. Do you fall for people because of who they are or how you idealize them? If it is the latter, you will want to take a careful examination of the type of person you are. When you don’t see other people, even those you love, as human beings, but as a concept, there is a strong chance that you will be hurt and disappointed. There is a strong chance that you are a simp. The following is a list of examples that indicate a simp:
- Putting women on a pedestal
- Becoming frustrated when you are not given attention
- Expecting love and affection without effort
- Overspending money to be noticed by others (donations, subscriptions, etc.)
- Not working on yourself and expecting different outcomes in a relationship
- Inability to handle rejection
- Seeing women as a goal or reward rather than a human being
The Path to Overcome
No matter how much you simp, you should not be afraid, as you can overcome this weakness, just anything else you’d like to change about yourself. As long as you yearn for healthy relationships and freedom, you have all the motivation you need to end your time as a simp. To go through each of these steps, we’ll use a hypothetical example we’ll call “John.” John is a bonified simp, simplifying personal relationships while still holding them to unrealistic standards. At the same time, John is a kind soul and truly cares for those around him. We’ll see how John exemplifies each step and restores his status as a human being.
Step 1. Find Out Why You Simp
Within all of us are desires, fears, and needs. Unfortunately, we are seldom able to balance of these in our lives, leaving us with a troubling point of view and approach to the world. In the case of simps, sexual frustration, a lack of love, and apathy can pave a dangerous path for many. Stop and take time to figure out what makes you tick as a person. Honest and constructive introspection will help with this, but it can also be helped with mental health professionals, as well as close friends. Over time, you’ll develop a firm understanding of who you are and who you wish to become.
In John’s case, he sees his lack of sexual experience and the poor marriage between his parents as the cause for his behavior. After speaking with his therapist, he has a clearer understanding of his time in his developmental years and how they impact him today. He now sees not only who he is, but also how badly he needs to change.
Step 2. Go Cold Turkey
This is easier said than done but is still a pivotal part of your journey to end your simping. Whether it’s interactions with someone in person or online, cut out the behaviours you wish to rid yourself of. If it’s an e-girl or streamer, perhaps blocking their content and cutting of any subscriptions would be a good place to start. However, if it’s someone you know personally, this part will be a little messy. Ghosting may seem like a good approach but can lead to more issues down the line or even be unfair to the person in question, assuming they did not intend any harm. Speaking to this person about a break in the relationship or about intentions can help you ease out of your ways, leaving the both of you with a sense of closure and security in your actions.
As for John, he has cancelled his OnlyFans subscriptions, deleted his social media accounts, and finally gained closure with his ex-girlfriend. He doesn’t blame those he was simped for, but still recognizes that they did not bring him happiness. While there were relapses during his abstinence, he soldiered on and eventually hit six months without simping behavior.
Step 3. Channel Time and Energy Into Productivity
With all of this extra time, it’s important you find something to keep yourself occupied. If you don’t, you’re liable to fall back into your old ways, unable to move past your former self. So, it’s important to find something productive and will make you happy. More effort at work or a side gig is a great way to move your career and gain experience. Hobbies that require attention and involvement, such as learning a new language and exercise, are also incredible ways to build yourself up, making you a more fulfilled and interesting person. Reworking your schedule and lifestyle will reshape your feelings and truly make you feel like a new person, now armed with a new level of self-esteem, value, and happiness.
John’s first six months of abstinence were usually spent at the gym, where he built not only muscle, but self-confidence. Rather than crawling out of bed before work, John wakes up early full of energy and heads for the gym, starting off his day with a success. Each day is enriched by this start, as we goes through each shift with a newfound appreciation for life. While his simping days seem over, there is still work to be done for proper reform.
Step 4. Pursue Valuable Friendships and Enhance Social Life
Now that you have worked on yourself tirelessly and successfully, it’s time to go out in the world and work on your social life. If your newfound hobbies have not already brought you new friends, try looking for them through other avenues. Festivals, expos, showcases, and other events that involve your interests are most likely your best bet. While it might be scary to take that first step, remember that your life will only change if you force it to. Meanwhile, it’ll help to go back and fix any old friendships that were damaged during your time simping. With your new and improved sense of self, you have insight now than could fix old problems, restoring any harm done. In cases where things can’t be fixed, learn how to deal with it and move on from the pain.
Through the gym, John has made several friends that he would have never met a year ago. Among these new friends is Sarah, a woman that finds John as fun and interesting as he finds her. His older friends were happy to this blossoming love, especially when considering the rough patches they’ve seen John go through.
Step 5. Continue to Set Goals As a New Person
As you continue to mature and find progress in your own life, make sure to keep the momentum going. You only have one life and living it to your fullest potential is the best thing you can do for yourself. Keep in mind the personal battles you’ve lived through and how they complete you as a person. As you reach your goals, set new ones and strive to be the greatest version of yourself. This will help you not only with simping, but other concerns in your life involving health, finance, culture, and social fulfillment.
John has begun notice both large and subtle differences in his life. Not only is he in shape, but he feels mentally and emotionally prepared to take on the world and the challenges it provides. Every problem has a solution now, as nothing seems impossible to him now. He does not hate himself for his former simping but accepts the journey as a whole and is proud of who he has become.
Step 6. Become a Role Model
In order to have truly overcome your past demons, you should try to stop them wherever they may rear their head. This means helping others around you learn from your own mistakes and being someone they can look up to. You don’t have to start a movement or gain a cult following, but being a role model to a nephew or coworker will change their world, adding a new level of meaning to the work you did on yourself.
As John becomes older and progresses in life, he sees more and more how those close to him see him as the pinnacle of happiness. While many of them are unaware of his former simp self, they admire the man before them. Sarah is now pregnant with John’s son, who he hopes to raise with a positive and healthy attitude toward life and love. Simping comes in various forms and is caused by various issues, but can be cured through a constant desire and will to change for the better. Now, John is able to spread this positivity and gives others the help that he didn’t have so that they can be steered away from simping and towards happiness.