Do you find it difficult to interact with people? Are you not able to express your opinion or your feelings? Do you care too much what others think about you? Are you never in the centre of attention at social gatherings?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, we invite you to meet a few keys to overcoming shyness and lift your self-confidence and thus better to socialise with people around you.
The majority of shy people (65%) believes they are a result of external circumstances such as excessive control of their families. They treated you in an authoritarian or overprotective way, or you have suffered bullying in childhood. Do not confuse shyness with introversion, since the latter concept refers to a biological basis of personality, while shyness itself usually pose a problem when relating to others. 23% attribute their shyness to internal causes, such as poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic to improve their problem if they propose.
Shyness, as well as any other problem, needs professional advice and monitoring, but in mild cases, there are tips that can help to overcome it.
Try not to be so tough on yourself
Do not push yourself so much when you’re surrounded by people and believe that your contributions do not go as you want. Do not worry. Most of the judgments are not based on facts, but on negative thoughts, you have learned about what should be an optimal social behavior. Perfection does not exist.
Respond to social situations authentically
Do not be reactive to them. Do not try to set an attitude or behavior that you’re not feeling. Laugh if you find it funny something, not because of compromise. Speak up if you want to talk, not because the situation demands.
Learn and do not be afraid to make steps towards new behaviors in social situations
The reality must be conceived in a certain way, as a test. Experience, there is nothing more exhilarating than to try things, even out “bad”. In fact, they are lessons for you and unique experiences that bring you: you are sowing seeds that sooner or later will bear fruit.
You can practice new social behaviors with trusted people
You can practice with your relatives while you adjust to talking. Maintain eye contact, develops body language, express your ideas and emotions … Gradually you will feel more comfortable, and you will go to expand your range.
If you’ve been avoiding to do something, you can write what you’re going to say
Do you like to write? You can test the interaction writing it down in a notebook or front of the mirror until you feel comfortable. Without obsessing: remember that failures should be understood as successes since you reported learning that will help in the future.
Let yourself fall in group meetings
It is a good idea to be in frequent groups and environments where their interest matches yours and try to talk to new people. You can engage in conversations in which you can contribute a lot, and perhaps from there it will be easier to pass the personal level with your partners.
Do not worry about social acceptance
Practice your assertiveness and do not be afraid to be more spontaneous. Actually, being spontaneous is something very positive, and if you are spontaneous, you can be sure that others will appreciate that. Say what you think honestly and with assertiveness, and it is likely that people will accept you and display receptive to your opinions.
Get into the habit to speak in front of more people
Start to make you see in situations where you can feel more comfortable. Although you do not realise, this will be good training for you and your brain will assimilate that speaking in front of others poses no risk; there is nothing to fear.
If you feel nervous and shy, you can remember this
If you ever intoxicate nerves, remember that there are great people in history who overcame their shyness. Although expensive, timidity will not be an obstacle to achieving your personal and professional goals.
Avoid constant criticism or perfectionism
Much of the constant self-examination to which shy people are subjected is based on their expectations that are very high. They believe that their opinions should be the most interesting and comments must be accepted by all. In this way, they are creating claims which are impossible to reach. And you cannot move forward if you do not allow yourself to make mistakes. Mistakes are essential to learning. Perfectionism contains much criticism and a high level of demand, which prevent the psychological development of the person. It is, therefore, necessary to be more tolerant with yourself and treat yourself well.
Sign up for any activity that will help you overcome your shyness
Look for a creative activity that you will like learning such as painting, theatre, dance … In addition to learning something that attracts you, meet new people with similar interests. Such activities will help you feel integrated into a group and to control your body language and emotions.If you opt for the theatre, for example, it is not necessary that all of a sudden be the protagonist of the play. You can start helping behind the scenes with costumes or play a few lines. Gradually you will increase your self-confidence.
I hope these tips will help you discover how to stop being shy. Do not let shyness limit your potential or made conditional your social relationships.