Did someone come into your life like a wrecking ball? Did you feel gripped by the “spark”, or “so smitten” you didn’t know what hit you? Did you then fall in love so bad and so hard that you got sucked into a whirlpool of emotions? When you feel this inexplicable instant connection taking you on a thrilling roller coaster ride of passion, you may be experiencing what is called a karmic relationship.
What is a Karmic Relationship?
A karmic relationship is a concept based on the eastern philosophy of karma and reincarnations. Cambridge dictionary defines karma as “the force produced by a person’s actions in one life that influences what happens to them in future lives”. So, when you feel the mysterious attraction to a person you’ve just met, that bond has actually been forming, developing, and evolving over several of your past lifetimes.
Like a moth to a flame
In your present life, you feel drawn to this person like a moth to a flame. There is passion, love, and desire, which exhilarates and exhausts you. No reason can explain the allure. You want out, and you want in. You break up, and you make up. This on and off romance is a result of “a neutral sequence of acts, results, and consequences,” writes Vera Nazarian in The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration, amassed from several past lives.
A necessary evil
Although such relationships can be disturbing and confusing, it has its purpose. You are meant to clear the karmic debt that you owe to your karmic partner, and learn and grow from the experience. In his 1954 lecture series, Rudolf Steiner has mentioned the necessity of “the most complex chain of circumstances, all of which had to occur, into all of which we had to enter, so as to reach this or that decisive experience”. Your karmic relationship is meant for you to learn meaningful life lessons, become a better person, improve yourself, and finally clear the negative karma of your past lives.
Signs You Are in a Karmic Relationship
You see no rhyme or reason as to why your paths crossed, but you still find yourself embroiled in this strange relationship. So, if you find yourself repeatedly saying the things below, you know you are in a karmic relationship.
“I can’t explain it!”
You don’t exactly remember why or how you got into this relationship. You were “consumed” by some invisible force, and everything happened too fast. Although you can’t explain why you are in a relationship with your partner, you also know that you don’t want out.
“I can’t live with this person; I can’t live without this person!”
This person has turned your life upside down, inside out, and you no longer recognize yourself or your life. You decide enough is enough, and in the next instant, you can never get enough. You are stuck in an eternal loop of letting go and holding tighter to your partner.
“I can make this work, I will make this work!”
Even when you realize that things are going south, you are still obsessed with the idea of bringing everything to order. You believe you can make the relationship work, and you want to make it work, despite knowing all too well that you are wrong.
“But we are crazy in love!”
And you think you are in love, crazy love. You forgive and forget the awful feelings, painful struggles, bitter battles in the name of love. You label your love “crazy” and go with the flow when deep down inside you know there is no such thing as “crazy in love” anymore.
“I don’t know how to love any other way!”
There’s no denying that human beings are creatures of habits. Once a habit is formed, we don’t question it, we don’t think beyond it. We assume that this is the way to love and submit ourselves to the idea – not because it’s true but because it’s a habit.
“We are meant to be together!”
You sincerely believe that you are meant to be together. In a way, yes, your karmic connection does bring you two together. However, the intensely insane love you feel for one another is momentary, and you mistake it for destiny.
When a Karmic Relationship Turns Toxic
Although a karmic relationship has its purpose in your life, the all-consuming love could turn unhealthy if you aren’t watchful. There are a few ways it can turn toxic, but we’ll discuss the most fatal two below:
- When you develop codependency: Often, either one or both people involved in a karmic relationship become extremely codependent on their partner, to the point of addiction. They lose their self-worth and self-will and leave themselves completely at the mercy of their partner, unable to think for themselves.
- When you indulge in violence/self-harm: The relationship can also become abusive more out of passion than hatred. They become obsessed with their partner and resort to violence – and physical and emotional. Oftentimes, when they can’t be abusive to their partners, they can turn their aggression towards themselves and indulge in self-harm.
How to walk away
Work on self-work
The first step you must take to walk away from a karmic relationship is by starting to love yourself. Give yourself enough care and attention. Because what you’re seeking in this relationship says a lot about your need, your hurt, your heart. So, work on yourself to slowly loosen the karmic grip.
Listen and be heard
Since a relationship involves two people, you must also be aware of your partner’s needs. You need to listen to your significant other, not only to understand them but to know where you stand as well. Only when you listen, you will find ways to be heard. And communication is the key that unlocks the karmic door for you to walk away.
Learn and leave
It is often said that when it comes to Karmic relationships, it’s not about ending the relationship. It’s about ending the Karma. You end your karma by learning the lesson the relationship is meant to teach you, whether it’s self-love or trust issues. Once you have learned your lesson, you will automatically find the courage to walk away. So, learn and leave and live a peaceful life.