As we grow up, however, we realize that the most valuable things we’ve learned come from our own experience. They say that there’s no way to learn something better than to go through it yourself. And as adults, we often realize that there are some things and skills nobody ever taught us. These lessons don’t come easy but their value is unbelievable.
From one human to another, these skills differ as we all live different lives. But there are some skills nobody ever taught us, that we’ve learned through many years of life.
There are so many of them, but these 3 skills are the most important of all.
Skill #1: Stop Taking Things Personally
Many people believe that everything that is going on around somehow involves them. Even though people around continue living their own lives that have nothing to do with us. But here the thing: it’s OK to care about something, it’s totally fine to experience something, but it doesn’t mean that it’s all about you.
Elizabeth R. Thornton, a psychologist and a professor at Babson College, says that taking things personally originates from people judging you unfairly. As social beings, who are completely subjective, we tend to have a so-called unconscious bias, when we judge people’s appearance, outlook, the way of dressing up, etc. This somehow gives us the ‘right’ to judge others.
If a person experiences lots of similar judgments from other people, taking things personally becomes a sort of a habit. If parents blame their every sin on their kid, he or she will ultimately become a self-blamer for everything that goes wrong.
How do you stop taking things personally? Abigail Brenner, a well-known psychiatrist, says that many of us simply become tired of this habit and turn to an ‘unhealthy denial’. This is a way of closing eyes on things that tend to turn us into self-blamers.
A healthy thing to do, however, is to reconsider the situation and find your position in it. Jumping into conclusions right away won’t let you think objectively. To do so, you’ll have to distance yourself from your reactions and you’ll see that the situation has nothing to do with you personally.
Further Reading: 8 Life Advice for the 20 Somethings
Skill #2: Stop Caring What Others Think Of You
You don’t know what you want to do with your life? You’re afraid to say what you think? You’ve lost motivation? With time and age, you’ll find out that these are the signs of you caring too much what others think of you.
Opinions of other people are like a flood: sometimes you have no idea how to stop it. What do you do? You build a dike that will separate ‘clear’ opinions from trash that litters your mind. Building a kind of a shield is a strategy that is sometimes used at work. Many people, who have to work with tons of clients, like professional essay writers, have to shield themselves from the negative customers who ‘are having a bad day.’
Frederic Neuman. M.D., who studies fear and anxiety, says that caring about the opinions of others can cause severe mental health damages. By doing so, people show their disrespect towards their own mind and its well-being. So before you start searching for pity because someone told nasty things about you, stop and think: do you really want to harm yourself?
Acknowledge that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and you respect that. However you prefer to focus on things that bring you joy, and destructive criticism has nothing to do with it. When you’re old, you’ll regret caring about this trash too much. And there’s nothing more horrible than regretting something when your life comes to an end.
Further Reading: 7 Skills Everyone Should Learn Before Turning 25
Skill #3: Taking Care of Your Mental Health
In this time and age, when everyone is obsessed with being fit and healthy, people often forget that mental health needs to be taken care of separately.
In October 2017, many celebrities started speaking out about their mental health issues, thus turning world’s attention to the problems that everyone often ignores. October 10th is the World Mental Health Day, proclaimed by WHO, which was a great opportunity to speak about things almost everybody is uncomfortable to talk about.
Contrary to common belief, mental health issues don’t go away, they need special treatment. Depression never goes away without consequences, and hiding anxiety can even kill you. With age, you start understanding yourself more and you realize that mental health is as important as physical health.
Further Reading: Adulting: 8 Scary Issues to Overcome for Winning at Life
Why are These Called ‘Skills’?
Once you’ve learned about the value of these things, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to practice them. Learning how to stop taking things personally, stop caring what others think and taking proper care of your mental health requires time and effort, just like any other skill.
But once you learn them, you’ll get incredible power to shield yourself from negativity you don’t need in your life.