Ever wondered why most people need or at least think they need social media?
It’s because we seek validation. We always want to feel wanted and accepted; nobody wants to feel like they don’t belong. It’s because we’re humans.
I’ve been there. When I sat in silence in a group of 20+ people realizing that none of them I could actually call a friend; I’ve been there when I saw a friend of mine drifting apart from me just because I do not have some “standards”.
But have you ever wondered who are we seeking validation from?
Who are we trying to prove ourselves to?
Let me tell you how life can be without social media:
Your private life won’t be a public gallery.
The first and the most important thing about living without social media; you’ll learn the true meaning of private life.
You’ll learn that nobody cares about what you have for breakfast or how you’re spending your Friday night; cause it’s the truth. They don’t care about your personal details, you just give them access to see them.
You’re going to know what to share to whom; to the only ones who truly care about you; not to some strangers or even some acquaintances, you won’t be available and easily reached anytime by anyone, your life is going to be your OWN life. Your privacy will bring you closer to the people who care about you.
You won’t be taking pictures just because you have a nice outfit on.
Who would always want to talk about how stunning of an outfit someone might be wearing or keep wondering are they looking good enough just to “fit in” with some shallow people who only care about how they should look?
How many times have you thought an outfit was gone to waste just because you hadn’t taken a picture of it? There’s more to life than that, I think you know it.
Further Reading: Your Guide to Living Without Social Media
No more pictures of fake “happy” moments.
I’m sure you all had at least one of these;
I’m sure you all had these meaningless outings which are full of people holding their smartphones to capture every single detail of the day, people you’re not on speaking terms with.
It’s tiring, it’s dreading, and it brings negativity. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t sound very pleasant to you as well, you’re better off without these.
You’ll cut off some connections.
And I mean the ones who aren’t too important or not even important at all. You have a brain, it gets exhausted from meaningless interactions with several people. Ever wonder why it feels so heavy sometimes? like you just need a break away from the human noise; in complete silence. It’s scientifically proven that the human brain can maintain five relationships in their inner circle; and 150 in their outer circle.
And of course, you know the definition of outer circles: acquaintances (n).
These are the ones who know you by name, only by your name. You might have had conversations once in a while, but you cannot refer to them as friends. This outer circle is called Dunbar’s Number, as he informally explained it as “the number of people you would not feel embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink if you happened to bump into them in a bar”. Now, who do you think will be applied to that?
Further Reading: 10 Things You Should Never Share On Social Media
No more faking to look flawless.
No more obsessing over pretty people, no more editing blemishes and filtering a bad quality away.
Because who gives a damn shit? We only do filters just because it might decorate reality for a stranger’s eye. It’s sad to see that people are still posting for the likes and might sadly enough see this only shallow version of life.
They might not care about the traits of a person and how good they can be. They only care about Instagraming their “perfect” life.
They only care about getting that perfect Instagram shot to capture some hearts.
They only care about how a person dresses like, where do they spend their summer, where do they shop at, who’s dating who, are they dating someone rich? No? So they must look good? Yeah?
And it keeps going on like this.
Stalking random profiles, scrolling, clicking on something completely different, and suddenly noticing you’ve been doing this for over an hour. Is this really what you want to do with your whole day? Why does it always seem to be “post it online or it didn’t happen”?
Don’t let it get to you. Because numbers do not define your worth; and your worth will never become any less just because someone doesn’t see it.
I quit all social media for three whole months. It was the best and the most peaceful three months I ever had.
And during these three months, my pictures were mostly taken in a genuine moment; taken off guard, taken when I was being myself regardless of what others may think of it; It was more about the memories than just the evidence of it.
I sure will do a long social media detox once again. But next time, it might last forever.
I think you should try it too. Give yourself a break, do more of the things you love. Be your own person.