I should not eat more as I will put on weight.
I need to skip meals to achieve a zero figure.
I should go to the gym to remain thin.
I cannot eat chocolates as it will increase my belly.
I will only be happy if I stay slim forever as people don’t like big beefy chunks.
Do you also speak the same lines as above? If yes, you are dragging and punishing yourself every day just to make everyone happy in this “un-illuminated” world except yourself.
It’s rather funny to find that Instagram pages of both girls and boys look so identical. Boys’ accounts are masculine and not being maudlin, whereas girls’ pages are hyper-sexualized or the need to look a certain way. It’s like these people aren’t saying—‘this is me’, it’s like they are trying to answer the question, ‘how do I need to look so as to be liked by others?’
Marla Mervis-Hartmann —a professional coach, speaker, facilitator and Living Light Reiki Master, and Teacher had a dysfunctional relationship with her body right from her birth. Despite her milk-white skin and silky hair, she grew up with a disesteemed thought that she was not as attractive as other girls. The opinion of other people often affected her; sometimes she liked compliments, sometimes didn’t like them at all.
Further Reading: Susanna Halonen – The Happyologist
Life took its ugly turn when her boyfriend broke up with her, and it further added to her agony when she lost her lucrative job. Marla used to exercise until her bones started to pang and ate only once in a day. She had a thought that getting thin is the only quest for her happiness as she fixed it in her mind that society will love her only if she remains “Svelte”. She started measuring happiness based on the numbers on the weighing machine. Now that is earth-shattering!
Notwithstanding that magical number on weighing machine, she would live in fear that she might lose it anytime. With continual, un-necessary pressure in her mind, Marla was so driven by this fear that she eventually reduced the size of her friend circle, and stopped attending parties or going on any outing.
Well, Marla is not the only woman to be wrestling this fear. Her story resonates with countless women in this world who are having a diet mentality and turbulence with their own bodies. They are not contented with what God has given to them. People are afraid and ashamed of labels like ‘ugly’, ‘fat’ or ‘sluggish’.
“I’m someone who is committed to supporting people to feel good about themselves”— Marla Mervis-Hartmann
The moment she decided to surrender her diet mentality was the day when she started embracing the way she was.
No pain and no gain mentality is the notion—that if you have to achieve something you have to do an ungodly amount of work that is going to take blood, sweat, and tears. By this, Marla doesn’t mean that an individual doesn’t want to work hard but it’s the idea—that if I want to achieve something I have to prove that I’m worthy of it.
Further Reading: Lucie Fink – How Trying New Things Changed Her Life
Marla wanted to challenge the concept—what if we can actually have all the things that we had dreamt about like money, glamour, and relationship without beating ourselves up. In today’s world, sleep deprivation is the effect of being too ambition and the thought of keeping oneself busy reminds others of one’s importance. “If you pause a moment and relax, you can live your life more purposefully.”
“Always remember life doesn’t happen to you but life happens for you.”
In Marla’s revival journey of healing her body and her relationship with food and soul, she dug deep to realize what she has actually learned and what she has got so far. Eventually, she realized it was—pleasure. Pleasure has guided her whole time and paved the way for changing herself and is what we need at the end of the day.
Further Reading: From Caracas To Miami – The Story Of Mariana Atencio
What’s the advantage of having six-pack abs or slender waist? These things are temporary. What if you had a baby or you are busy on the job. Don’t live with any stress in your mind. Enjoy this life. And I’m not saying you should not exercise or hit the gym but do not make six pack or slender frame a symbol of happiness. Live in contentment!