We have all gone through situations that overcome us, situations that generate in us a sense of impotence that invades us. But, the important thing is to know how we react to these situations. Do we have the ability to face them in a positive way? Or do we just react negatively? Generally, this type of situations generates in us a series of negative thoughts that do nothing more than feedback our behavior.
In order to transform these negative thoughts into positive reactions and behaviors, we must try to identify and work with them to improve. Here are some instructions that will help you identify these negative thoughts and thus combat them.
Manifestation. When we have a negative thought usually it is accompanied by a change in our mood. The manifestations are diverse – we can be nervous, angry, even in some cases, anxious. Our body also participates in our response – we shake, we sweat, and our heart beat faster than usual.
Negative thoughts. When we face a situation that causes tension and discomfort, a series of negative thoughts often invade us. Often, these thoughts are accompanied by behaviors such as running away from the situation, shouting, or just being silent. You must begin to work with these thoughts. To control them in such a way that they do not generate in you those reactions and turn them into positives.
Further Reading: 7 Ways Negative Thinking Will Ruin Your Life
Identification. Take some time to think about the negative thoughts that come to you. Make a list of all of them, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Also, try to identify what are the feelings that each of them generates. Some may cause you sadness, some anger, or impotence. Try to differentiate each thought with its respective feeling.
Origin. Try to determine each situation that generated negative thinking. It is important to be able to differentiate the moments that trigger these types of thoughts. The problem is not what you told or what happens, but the relationship you have with your life. It may happen that it reminds you of some stage in your life. Or that you consider that you are underestimated. Or that you don’t trust yourself. It is essential to try to detect the origin to be able to overcome it.
Prevention. Once you have identified the origin as well as the trigger of each negative thought, you can prevent them. Try to replace them with positive thoughts and try to see reality from another perspective. Many times, talking to someone you trust, allows us to look at things from another angle and modify our behavior. Try to perform this exercise with dedication and frequency, as it is not a simple task.
Be aware of how you create your emotions (and therefore you have great control over them). Remember that most of our negative emotions are generated not by events, but by the meaning we give them. Since the way we think and interpret our reality are learned patterns of habit, it is something we can learn to control.
Further Reading: You Need Positivity. Read This!
Be aware of your way of speaking (both yourself and others) and try to improve it. When we generate more negative emotions than necessary, identifiable special language it is usually what causes such situations. A hard, extreme, absolutist and plaintive language full of “Always” “Never” “All” “Nothing” “I should” “I have to” “Sure that … it’s going to be horrible … the worst will happen … I will not be able to endure … what if it happened to me?” You can even learn to discover how many insults and bad words you use with yourself throughout the day. You will be surprised how many negative emotions cause this language that we have so much.
Learn to be a positive realist. Being positive doesn’t mean realistic look at the world through a rose colored glasses where all are positive emotions and overlook the problems and dangers. It means approaching life forward. Focusing on solutions and possibilities, rather than on alarming or difficult aspects. Remember that the three enemies of positive realism with which you must fight are negative anticipation, victimhood and the search for scapegoats. If you beat them you will save a lot of negative emotions in your life.
Eliminate the excessive need for approval, one of the largest free sources of negative emotions (anxiety, frustration, discouragement).
Further Reading: 5 Rules To Stay Positive in a Negative Situation
Be very aware that negative emotions are a fundamental part of the human being. Without sadness, anger, fear, pain we would not be what we are. Without the suffering that we are trying so hard to avoid today, we would never achieve our goals, nor grow as people, nor would be cinema, literature or philosophy. If you avoid your negative emotions paradoxically you will have much more.