At some point in your life, you may have felt the sense of failure. In fact, it is a fairly common feeling. Especially for those who have a black and white view of life. Either they succeed or they fail, there are no middle points. The truth is that we all fail at something. Sometimes we are not able to follow a diet. Or we don’t achieve the job of our dreams. We set ourselves a goal and we don’t get to complete the tasks so the project is half-way.
Anyway, the feeling that we have failed can be activated with anything. And it’s painful because you have nowhere to escape.
Worst of all is that when you fail you immediately put into question your value. You almost never think that you have failed in just one sphere of life. You generalize the failure to your personality and you define yourself as a person without value, without willpower and without the skills that are necessary to succeed in life. Obviously, this is an oversized reaction, but in those moments, we are not able to appreciate how inadequately we are reacting.
Why do we fail?
Not knowing our own personality
You would be amazed to know how many people have no sense of their own identity which implies a sophisticated operational way of thinking beyond social impact. Often, identity becomes part of a system in which there is a pile of ‘clones’. We can say that success is allergic to people who are not able to think with their own head but they follow the masses. Their life is under the control of media, parents, friends, partners, government or job. They also allow others to structure their lives. The biggest problem with such people is that they don’t know who they are if there is nobody in their vicinity.
Inability to recognize a false image
What people see is a good car and they find that the person is successful. What they don’t see is that this person is in great concern for her house under the mortgage, repays the loan or drowning in debt. People are easily satisfied with a visual simulation without knowing what lies behind a glossy facade and that is a false image. If your inner being is miserable, you are not successful. Let trivialities not obscure your freedom and victory.
Further Reading: How To Make Yourself Emotionally Strong
Not being ready to pay the price
It is disturbing how many people want a reward for success without much effort. We live in the world of instant satisfaction. Many want to get what they’re thinking right away. People have to understand that when it comes to climbing to success, they have to start from the bottom.
Lack of goals
Success is a well-designed destination, not the result of hasty random thoughts and actions. Success develops when a person thinks about the goal and starts to make the most effective ways of reaching it. Without goals to measure his success and chart of progress, man doesn’t really have a direction. They create discipline and focus that are key ingredients for success. Without a goal, there is no success.
Further Reading: 5 Tips for Setting Powerful Goals
What can you do?
Realize that we all fail. You are not the only one who has failed in a project, it has all happened to us. In fact, the great inventors of all time had to fail many times before finding the great idea. Errors and failures are part of the growth process and we all go through them. Nothing comes with the first attempt.
Take the distance from the problem. If you are too emotionally involved you will not be able to assess the causes of failure clearly. Therefore, all you will do is immerse yourself in a spiral of ruminating and recriminatory thoughts. Involve yourself in activities that you like, dedicate yourself to new projects, and take a break. When you return to the problem you will see it with other eyes and you will see that your first reaction has been exaggerated.
Further Reading: 5 Easy Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day
Resize failure. What can you learn from this mistake? What did you do wrong and where did you go wrong? This way you’ll be ready to try again and next time you’ll do better. Also, remember that you can make that failure become a success if you know how to get the education.
Change the method. Seems like we often fail because we have tackled the problem from an erroneous perspective or simply from a point of view that didn’t fit our capabilities, goals or way of being. Ask yourself how you can reach that goal by being yourself, with your capabilities and resources.
Further Reading: 20 Simple Time Management Tips to Make More for Less Time
Take the first step. Almost always, after the first failure, people completely abandon the project. They convince themselves that they cannot achieve it and lock it in a drawer thus locking their dreams. Therefore, once you know what you have done wrong and when you redefine the method, you have nothing but courage. Take the first step again.