In the English dictionary, the definition of failure is lack of success. No one in this world likes to fail or be labeled as ‘looser’, however, it is a bitter truth that we all fail at some point in our lives. There will be days when you will have one bad break after another and it’s your attitude that determines the impact of that experience. So if you enjoy your journey of life and accept the failure that comes your way with an intention to learn from it rather than running away from it, you will find more success at your feet.
Sonia Samtani — one of the most influential women in Hong Kong and an inspiration to many, wears several hats of success notwithstanding going through numerous ups and downs in her life.
A Hypnotherapist and coach by profession, she motivates people about how to conquer failure and heals individuals suffering from their past trauma. She is the founder of “All About You” center in Hong Kong committed towards the physical, emotional and spiritual growth of individuals.
At school, she would spend much of her time alone owing to her shy nature and feeling of insecurity flowing through her veins. She felt challenged about her personal and body image while at school, even though she came from a well-to-do family that gave her all the comfort and luxury materialistically.
She grew up with the feeling of being not good enough as she was heavy and overweight, and faced some racism and bullying in her early years at school- there were many instances where she would pray to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed just for a day to have the feeling of to fitting in! This is not all. Her brother’s birth also contributed to her self-esteem, so she not only felt like she was not good enough at school but at home too. Her brother was born with physical challenges, which kept him at the hospital for his initial years and caused tremendous stress for the family. Although her parents did the best that they could under the circumstances to take care of a sick child, as a 7-year old she didn’t know how to handle it – it had her feel like she didn’t deserve attention and felt guilty for being the healthy one, making her an even more lonely girl.
Living a life with these feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and nervousness would often hold her back from speaking up or seizing opportunities to move ahead in life. Though there was a part of her that was always fascinated by spirituality and metaphysics while growing up, and would often ponder on life question her mother about what happens after death.
Further Reading: From Caracas To Miami – The Story Of Mariana Atencio
Just before entering university, Sonia decided to shift her physical appearance by losing weight and giving herself mini-makeovers. And yeah! It made her feel good after she was able to shed her excess weight and people would respond to her more positively, but she soon understood that this happiness was only temporary as her beliefs about herself were still the same. Realizing that she had only changed her outer appearance but not internally, she began to look deep within to discover and shift her limiting beliefs about herself. Hence during her tertiary education, she started developing an interest in human psychology while she completed her ‘bachelors in communication’ from Cardiff University in Wales. Once she completed her graduation she enrolled herself in a series of different workshops and courses with a passion to observe people and understand what drives human behavior; she found that so much of her own and people’s sabotaging behavior is driven by past pain and a fear of it coming back – and all that we are really craving is to feel loved and accepted. She then truly began to shift those deep limiting beliefs and insecurities she had about herself stemming from childhood by loving and accepting those parts of herself that she had rejected for so long.
The world of acceptance and expansion felt so good that she just wanted to be in that space, and ended up working as a Mastery Mentor for world-renowned success coach Anthony Robbins for a few years where she travelled around the world and supported people to change their state and get in touch with their potential.
In January 2007, she came across Hypnotherapy which was the final game changer for her as she found that was the quickest and most permanent way to enter into her subconscious mind and finally free herself from the toxicity and self-deprecating beliefs she had spent years cultivating! This then became her work and her mission to continue helping both herself and others to give love and accepting to their unhealed parts, and she started a centre for Mental Wellness in Hong Kong to spread this vision.
The ‘Hijacker’ Concept
When Sonia began working deeply with people in sessions and workshops and dug deep into the world of psychology, she realized that the main thing keeping people unhappy were the aching events that occurred in their past, and the trauma of that which they were still unconsciously holding onto. She maintains that the trauma doesn’t end when the event ends unless we deal with it consciously, instead it just gets suppressed until something triggers that memory and it all comes flooding back. So whenever we are triggered, it’s like the mind of that younger self is alive again and takes over our body —she refers to this occurrence as “Little Hijackers” taking over.
Suppose, your life is looking pretty good; you have positive relationships and you are successful at work, but one random day you happen to bump into an old schoolmate who used to bully you on the playground… This person triggers old wounds and suddenly all of the old thoughts, low-confidence, and insecurities of your childhood spread over your whole body like a wildfire and hijack your body. It’s as if you lose a sense of who you are today and those old wounds are back in your body. Most mental issues like depression, fear and anxiety can be a manifestation of the suppressed emotions of those little hijackers in us that haven’t been addressed. The good news is that we can address them and help them to release the suppressed toxic emotions.
Further Reading: Susanna Halonen – The Happyologist
Part of Sonia’s mission is to support people to deal with these ‘little hijackers’ within, which can impact our mental state and affect all aspects of our lives. Sonia believes that ALL of us get hijacked, almost on a daily basis, and we don’t even know it! Most of this is unconscious, and hence we unknowingly sabotage ourselves because a younger version of ourselves is still suffering and it’s stuck in a bubble of the past. The therapeutic term for this hijacker is an ‘inner child’, which has the capacity to affect us both physically and mentally.
In her language, Inner child healing is the cure and a permanent medicine in dealing with little hijacker in us. Inner child healing simply allows us to accept what happened in the past and release the old interpretation of events that made us feel disengaged, sad or helpless.
In her own story, when she looked back at the events of her childhood where she perceived she was not special and didn’t deserve attention, she realized it was her own interpretation that was making her feel insecure about herself. When she took responsibility for this and realized she created these beliefs, it allowed her to release the pain and look at the same situation with a new perspective.
So Inner child healing is being able to go back to the situation, release the emotional charges of the past, and being able to look at it through a different lens of acceptance. In her case, she could finally accept that her mother did love her focused her attention towards her brother as he was undergoing treatment and hence needed more care. She had understood this conceptually before, but it wasn’t really what she fully believed until she did this exercise and finally let go of the judging and questioning of why it happened to her. The end result was a great sense of peace and happiness, and no more hijacking of that inner child!
As we are all unconsciously dealing with these little hijacker’s within us, this is a very useful concept to understand and apply in our daily lives. Whatever happened in your past is over and gone now. You can’t change it – but you can change your interpretation! Otherwise, you might be in your 40’s or 50’s and still suffering the pain of your childhood. Even Sonia didn’t know what she wanted to do when she was of the aforementioned age. Having fought against all odds, she turned out to become a successful and victorious person.
Sonia Samtani is an inspiration for all of us and her concept about little hijacker is remarkable. She thinks that you are responsible for all of your feelings and emotions, and if you accept this, you liberate and break from the prison of depression in yourself.
Her mantra in life is, “You have created your own reality through your thoughts and emotions. When you finally take responsibility and accept all aspects of yourself, you can move on from the past and become whole and complete” — Sonia Samtani.
How to get rid of stress
Scan your body and check where the stress is located: it could be in the head, stomach, chest or anywhere else. Notice the sensation; you will feel something like heaviness, tension or tingling. Put your hand on that part, tap on it and begin to take deep breaths with the intention to release the stress and physical feelings until that sensation is over.
00:42 Describe your childhood in few words?
02:34 How did you get the concept of the little hijacker?
09:36 What is your mantra in life?
15:29 Which college did you go to and why did you choose to attend it?
17:46 How were you able to change the belief system of your subconscious mind?
24:09 How brands like Baker & McKenzie, Daiwa Investments, HSBC, Merrill Lynch, and Michael Page benefit from your teachings?
27:29 What brawls have you been through in becoming a successful entrepreneur in Hong Kong?
32:02 How can someone live more in the conscious than in the subconscious?
34:46 What is the main aim of your life and the website?