“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” ― Tupac Shakur
When the relationship is new and filled with excitement, we are always sure that it would last. You love the person more than yourself and they become your whole world. You are in the seventh sky and you cannot remember if you were ever happy before you met them. But still, somehow two people in love end up parting ways. The person you used to share every minute detail with becomes a stranger to you. It might feel at those times that you are the loneliest person on the planet, but you need to move on. And that my friend, doesn’t happen itself as you must put sincere efforts. Here are few things you must tell yourself while you are going through a breakup because it should not be the end of life.
Time is not going to heal you, until you put sincere efforts.
Everyone says “time heals wounds” but it is not entirely true. It is what we do with time that could bring positive changes, or it might take years to move on. Friends and families love to comfort you by saying these words but they don’t tell you what you need to do with it. If you sit under your blanket for a week, thinking if you pass your time sleeping, it would help you move on, you are wrong my friend. It might be easy to be stuck in depression, but you need to attract positives from the world around you and get busy with other things so that you have matter to think about, other than your ex. This way only, time can heal.
Love isn’t enough.
Friends might say, “If it was love, you would still be together.” But, don’t believe them because at time, love is never enough. Compatibility and priorities also stay strong in life. We have ourselves to think about instead of compromising some aspects which relationships ask from us. In order to make a relationship work, you cannot get yourself to think, “I wanted to travel the world, but if she is asking me to settle down, I would.” Or “He doesn’t want kids, I do, but that’s alright, I can always convince him later on.” This would only lead to regrets and resentment for your partner. Timing should also be perfect, if two people want to be together.
Further Reading: 3 Reasons why Love is Not Enough for a Relationship
Grieve, but not so much.
It’s crucial to get in touch with your emotions even if they are of grief. So, you must make out time to be sad and let yourself be so because this way you would know how you are feeling and what you should do about it. We tend to numb our emotions so that we don’t feel hurt, and it seems like the best way. But, it catches on us at the weirdest of times. In your office while you are working or at an interview you had to crack! There are many ways to grieve and you must, but you need to ensure that you get trapped into it.
Don’t do it all by yourself
You think you would be able to deal with situations on your own, but you do need your family and friends. They are there to notice if we are doing something wrong. They are there to get us out of our depressive track. They would force you out of your apartment and would help you meet new people as well. At times, we get busy with our romantic partners that we forget we have other people in our life as well, who care for us. We always need others to push us forward in life.
Further Reading: 8 Nifty Hacks for Getting Over a Breakup
It was not a waste of time.
Failed relationships might seem like a waste of time, but they are not. When you enter a relationship and get out of it, you are two different persons and you have changed for the better! It would have made you stronger and smarter and you would have your lessons to learn. You don’t need to start over, because you have matured and are not at the same place you were before. Think of it as a vacation, which got over, but it doesn’t mean that there is no other to come. Fake a smile and move forward.