Most people won’t meet their twin flame in this lifetime and you may think that the few who will, will be easily recognized among the crowd having a giant smile on their faces. But the truth is that even if you find your twin flame, things may not be so easy. Most of the time, the journey to achieve perfect harmony with your twin flame is complicated. Many of us end up going through one or several ‘separation stages’ during which our twin flame decides to take distance from us. But what can we do when this happens? How can we deal with emotional and physical pain? And how can we reunite with our twin flame?
Twin flames and twin flame separation stage: what does this even mean?
The concept of ‘twin flames’ is based on the idea that in a distant past our soul got split into two different halves that separated and started their own individual journey. Your twin flame is someone embodying the other half of your soul and therefore completes you. It’s extremely difficult to find your twin flame during your lifetime and most of us won’t meet them in this life. However, some people do and when this happens the twin flame journey starts. Through this journey, twin flames will go through several stages. One of these, even though not all twin flames experience it, is the separation stage. This occurs when your twin flame decides to take some distance from you and may be caused by several reasons.
The causes that lead to the separation stage
Every twin flame relationship is different and the causes that lead to the separation stage are multiple. It’s important to remember that even though your twin flame may claim a particular event as the main cause of his-her need to leave, this is hardly the case. One single event will hardly lead to this and most of the time multiple problems at the base of the relationship are the actual cause of the separation stage. Below you can find a list of the most common ones.
1. Personal journey
You cannot always blame yourself if your partner needs a break from your relationship. Indeed, sometimes you may not even be the cause! We all need periods of complete solitude in our lives. Chances are that your partner is just in need of one of those. During a big identity crisis, for instance, we need to spend time on our own and avoid all distractions to have enough time to think and reflect on our existence and present situation. This can be applied to many challenging situations, for instance when losing a job or when experiencing grief. Even though you may want to be next to your partner to help, you need to understand that this is a fight he-she needs to face without you.
2. Need clarity over the relationship
Sometimes, people don’t need to reflect on themselves but on their relationship. Although this may be scary, and you might be confused by their choices, it’s important to stay calm. Many people believe that this is only the beginning of a full breakup but this is not always the case. The fact that your partner wants to think about your relationship is a positive thing. Especially after years of relationship, when the passion that used to fuel your past is gone, it’s normal for a partner to wonder whether you’re still together because of love or simply for habit. In this phase, a twin flame may be looking for new experiences with other people. Although this sounds scary, it’s a normal part of the whole process. By dating other people we are able to truly assess whether or not we are still interested in our partner. Sometimes this makes us realise the real connection we have with our twin flame by showing us qualities in him-her that we never noticed.
3. Growing apart
Twin flames sometimes simply grow apart. This may be caused by several reasons. For instance, you may be at different stages of your life. One of you may be ready to start a family while the other may not even think about it. In other cases, twin flames grow apart due to different interests and passions. Everyone knows the old phrase: “we got nothing in common”. In this case, you may want to rethink whether the person you’re dating is your real twin flame. Your twin flame is the other half of your soul and therefore, by definition, you should be sharing, if not interests and hobbies, at least similar values and moral principles.
4. Communication issues
Many couples end up entering the separation stage because of communication issues. Maybe you said something that provoked your twin flame and now he-she decided to leave. As said before, the separation stage is never caused by a single act but by deep problems at the core of the relationship. Your twin flame didn’t leave you because of what you said, but because you may have communication issues.
People express their love in different ways, for instance, some people demonstrate love through physical contact, such as holding hands or hugging, while others express it by spending quality time together. It’s important to understand the ways in which you and your partner demonstrate love for each other and make sure to adapt your ways of expressing your feelings in a way that makes your partner comfortable and loved. For instance, some people may not be comfortable with physical contact in public, while others may consider this as the ultimate proof of love and may be offended by a partner’s negative reaction.
5. Feeling overwhelmed
Some people may feel overwhelmed by their current relationship and may decide to take a break as a consequence. This can happen in different ways. Some people may think that things are going too fast and may therefore need a break to make you understand that they are not ready to buy a house or a dog. In other cases, one of the two partners may think that his-her twin flame is taking too much time and energy from his-her life and may need to take a break to dedicate more time to him-herself. Although this may be painful, it’s important for you to understand that this is fundamental for your twin flame. Only by taking care of yourself will you be able to do the same for others.
Dealing With The Separation Stage: Pain, Depression and Sickness
Separating from your twin flame may be extremely painful, even if only temporarily.
The important thing to remember is that the pain you’re feeling is there for a reason and although you may not believe it at first, it’s beneficial. During this period most twin flames are able to deeply reflect on their relationship and at the end of it they will have a clearer idea not only of their partner and their relationship but also of themselves. Going through the separation stage will probably be the hardest part of your twin flame journey and the only way of getting out of it is by focusing on yourself and your own well being.
If your twin flame just asked for a separation, chances are that at the moment you’re entering a period of depression. You may feel tired all day and lose passion for what once used to interest you. This is absolutely normal and you should take all the time you need to recover from this. Stop listening to your friends pushing you to go outside to meet new people. If you’re not ready for it, it won’t be a good experience.
Sometimes, you may even experience sickness for the first few days after the separation. Again, it’s normal, don’t get scared. This is how our bodies react to high levels of stress. Consider it as an opportunity to slow down and spend a few days in the comfort of your home. Eventually, you will recover and feel better, both physically and emotionally.
How to reconquer your twin flame
Separations are not always permanent and if you’ve really found your twin flame there are good chances that you will be able to reunite. But to get there, first and foremost, we need to understand the causes of the separation. I will go through the causes we discussed before and analyse them one by one.
1. Separation due to personal causes
If your partner decided to take a break to rethink his-her life, the best thing you can do is to let your twin flame know that you support him-her and that you will be there in case of need. By this, I don’t mean, send a text every two hours asking how things are going. One message every two to three days will be enough. Obviously, see his-her reaction to the message and act based on it. If your partner wants to have full detachment just allow him-her to do so. This is precious time for your twin flame to rethink his-her life and all the concentration in the world will be needed. Unfortunately, if this is the reason why the separation stage started, you cannot do a lot about it. It will be your partner’s decision to tell you when he-she will be ready to see you again, and all you can do now is wait. The positive side is that the chances of a reunion are extremely high. If there is no problem with the couple why shouldn’t you go back together?
2. Separation due to relationship causes
This situation is completely different from the previous one. Your partner is probably now thinking about your relationship and evaluating whether it’s worth it to continue it or not. Your twin flame may date other people in the meanwhile trying to figure out what he-she wants. I know, the thought of your partner with someone else may be killing you, but you need to stay calm. Take this period to nourish your passions and interests. You may also take it as an opportunity to date other people and find new connections.
3. Separation caused by growing apart
If you’re in two different periods of your life the only solution is to wait. I know it’s easier said than done but unfortunately this is the only way. If you’ve really found your twin flame the chances of the two of you getting back together in the future are high. Take this break as a period of introspection. Focus on your own self and your spiritual journey.
4. Separation due to communication issues
If you always end up fighting and shouting at each other I will recommend taking a communication workshop or class. There are so many options available nowadays and they are extremely useful. For instance, when talking try to focus on your feelings rather than on your partner’s actions. Use sentences such as: ‘Yesterday I felt lonely’ instead of “Yesterday you left me alone’. Make sure to improve your communication before meeting your partner again. Remember that unless your twin flame will also start putting an effort into changing his-her communication skills you will end up having the same problems.
5. Separation caused by overwhelm
If this is the cause of your separation make sure to keep your distance from your partner. If they feel overwhelmed the last thing you want to do is to call them every five minutes. Give them time to think and the chances of them coming back will increase! In the meanwhile work on yourself and see how you can improve. Did they leave because they feel like they don’t have enough time for themselves? Maybe you can demand less and spend more time with yourself dedicating your free time to your hobbies and passions. Do they think the relationship is moving too fast? Think about it too. Maybe slowing down things is not the end of the world but a good opportunity to get to know each other even better before a big step.
Despite the causes that led to your separation a general rule of thumb is ‘work on yourself’. Dedicate this time to your passions and interests, try to grow as a person and nourish your soul. Whether or not you will reunite with your partner, you will surely learn a lot from this experience.