Everyone was once found themselves in such a relationship. That is the dead end where you, because the love which you feel for him/her prevents you from seeing the real problems. You think that it will be better, s/he will change, but the fact is that people do not change.
Even if certain changes occur, they are the nuances that come too slowly. This connection exhausts you emotionally, and even physically, because you invest everything, while the other side almost nothing. However, very skillfully manipulates your emotions and will assure that he already doing too much for you and your relationship.
If you are unsure whether you are in such a relationship, it is very likely that you are, because in a good relationship you would not question the possibility that someone exploits you. Yes, you read that right. This is called the exploitation, because all you give is a little, to someone who doesn’t give anything in return, and expects a lot.
Here are the key indicators that you are in such a relationship:
You are not happy in your relationship anymore
The best indicator of the quality of your relationship is your emotional state. If you are constantly looking for something better, unsuccessfully looking for your extinguished emotions, then this is a very sick relationship. Sick in the sense that two unhappy people, who, at the very beginning fired with enthusiasm, energy, and love.
Ask yourself what is the source of your sadness? How often you are fighting with him/her and which were causes for it? If more time and energy goes into discussions with them than on the beautiful moments together, what’s the point? Believe me, there are people who will make you happy. Maybe he is in a bad period of life when he cannot give his maximum to you, but that is something you should talk about. The barrier between you can only become greater if everything remains silent.
You are not part of his/her plan
The same is true for you if you don’t incorporate them into your plans. We don’t think you need to be connected by an umbilical cord, but making key life decisions should be a common concern? However, if you are the one who constantly is the one who calls, reminds, plan and think for both, believe there are men which can think for themselves and find space and time for you. It is reasonable and justified that he doesn’t have time, sometimes, but not consistently. Excuses are just a way to show someone that he doesn’t care, but doesn’t know how to say it. Be ready to talk and insist on it.
You need to take care of him/her
We don’t say that you don’t need, but there are symptomatic relations, in which you get the role of doctors, who care for patients. It’s not about physical health, it is about emotional burden which someone puts on you. We all have our problems, past, unresolved relationships and things, but that does not mean that we need to “drag” them in new relationships. Emotional baggage is the heaviest baggage, believe me. You may initially have time and strength to deal with it, but sooner or later you will realize that you have forgotten an important person in your life, and that’s you. Take care of yourself and do not let anyone exploits you because you are “stronger”.
Emotional and mental abuse
This type of relationship is the most difficult. It’s easy to look at it from the side and advise someone to stop. But, in these relationships comes to threats, blackmails and a form of physical violence. Therefore, it is very difficult to help. The person is convinced that she is well because, after insults and even slaps, one “I love you” is enough to take any form of violence tolerated, as a reflection of love. Therefore, it is best to recognize this kind of relationship in the early stages, so as not to be too late. Any form of neglect, disrespect, and insult is alarming. Appreciate yourself, because no one else will, but yourselves.
You have changed yourself because of him/her.
Do you remember how you met? And what are you today? If he made of you something that you have not been at the beginning of the story, it’s time for a change. It is reasonable to adapt, change, to make compromises. Whether it is about hobbies, family, friends or other important aspects of your life. Radical changes can indicate that something is wrong. Your partner has an absolute right to disagree with some of your attitudes or behavior. What s/he has no right is to make you his clone. Remember that you get to know and love each other just the way you are.
None of the above-listed problems are unsolvable but takes two to tango. Everything which bothers you now, in community life or marriage will bother you more, because life will bring you new challenges, and you didn’t overcome the previous ones.
Believe me – it is better to give up than to stay in a bad relationship. Because by giving up, in this case, you win.