Why First Relationships Rarely Works

By Akshay

The time is the best indicator of whether a love is the right one. Much rarer are those who already at the time when their love is happening know that this is “right one”. It is also known the saying that first love never dies, and then came the second, then third and so on… And then we remember again of the first love and of first relationship, but we no longer watch the same way with her. No matter how positive or negative feelings are related to the first experienced love, of her depends on how you will continue throughout life, and how will you set up yourself towards love partners.

We are sorry that we have to disappoint you, but the first relationship almost never works. And here’s why:

why first love does not work

Immaturity

Scientists say that the first love is very important, because in many ways, forming our perception of love and permanently defines us. Love in a teen age, it’s is emotionally strong, passionate and apparently full of life. But it happens because we are not yet able to distinguish the love and infatuation, two different things, because the definitions of love is mature, and the infatuation – immaturity. Butterflies in the stomach, constantly daydreaming, idealization and thinking about the person you love, the euphoria that accompanies all these intense feelings pretty hide “the face” of the person we love.

We, in fact, do not realistically love that person, we love only feelings that she awakens in us. Make no mistake, we can be in love and in adulthood, when we are emotionally and psychologically stable, but it is important to know and to notice the difference.

Infatuation is a state of darkened consciousness , emotional and hormonal madness, which is why psychologists call “immature love.” Infatuation is a kind of infantilism, she says, “can not live without you,” but it was only transiently sentiment that quickly brings sobering, often disappointment. Another consequence of falling in love as emotional immaturity is a misconception that we are “unlucky in love”, which can completely disable us to be emotionally accomplished.

 

The period of “storms and blows”

If we consider that most people enter into the first relationship in a very young age, it is clear that there exists a certain lack of experience and abundance of naivety and ignorance. The period of adolescence is actually the period of the search, which is often called the period of storms and blows. This is the period of discovering who we are, which values it should gravitate, for what we are interested, what we want to become. In a word, in adolescence we shape our own identity, and exactly a clear sense of identity, is a precondition for a serious relationship.

 

Personal fairy tale

reason why first love rarely worksIn fact, once you we are aware of ourself, then better understand what we demand from potential partners. Few people with 17 or 18 years have this. Then it can happen that after some time spent in a relationship with someone, a sudden you realize that your partner with whom you have been in a relationship has a completely different thoughts, interests and views on life. What happened? You’ve grown up, you have revealed yourself.

Another problem is that the majority of adolescents experiencing a phenomenon that psychologists vividly call personal tale. Actually, this is a distortion of opinion – as teenagers we see ourselves hugely important, and all that happens to us special and unique. It seems to us that our relationship is different from all the others, resistant to all the obstacles and problems, and ultimately the reality of everyday life.

 

The trap of idealizing

Some even all subsequent relationships naively compare with the first one, expecting to revive exactly the same emotion, with the same childlike intensity. Adults and healthy relationships do not rely solely on the passion and excitement, but on the basis of which many first love unfortunately do not have. They are flooded with intense, but really shallow and fleeting feelings.

Nevertheless, the first love always has experiential potential to learn from them. They are unquestionably one of the most important experiences in our lives and it’s important to think about them, but also not fall into the trap of idealizing the first kiss that may well distort the idea of how actually true love should look like.