Love is most beautiful feeling in the world, yet people are afraid to be in it. It is terrible when relationships fail and that undying pain which occurs after it is what people are scared of. It is shattering when the person we think we love the most, leaves us, and the relationship we think will last forever, doesn’t. People then tend to build walls around them, making vows that they will try their best not to get close to anyone ever again. But time heals everything, and everyone moves on. Though, here are reasons why people are afraid of love:
Love means being vulnerable
When a relationship begins, it is not known to us where it would head. You would worry if it would last forever or if it would end causing immense pain in our hearts. Thus, you keep your guards strong and don’t let yourself get emotional while being in love needs you to bring out your vulnerable side, which involves the matters of your heart.
We fear that if we care about the other person more, we will end up getting hurt.
When we are falling in love with someone else, we tend to reminisce the past and recollect the reasons why we got hurt in our previous relationships. It is one thing to learn from your mistakes; it’s another thing to be scared of being yourself. When we have seen our own negatives or are trying to improve, we can be afraid of opening up to others. We start to think a million times before we get intimate with others as we worry if we would get rejected once again.
Further Reading: The Story of a One-sided Lover
We doubt ourselves
People are often insecure about themselves and don’t know their value and their inner critic needs to be silent in order to love openly. It could be because of either past relationships or tragic childhood memories. Overtimes such thoughts can drain us off positivity and self-worth, and when someone starts to appreciate us, we can end up acting weird or defensive or in a certain way to prove them wrong. Thus, we are not able to transform our identification in the presence of love.
Love brings real pain
When we are numb, it is easier not to let any sort of sadness affect us, but on the same note, it gets difficult for us to be happy. Many people are scared of being happy as they realize that something bad might happen which will ruin their happiness and it would only lead to pain. Love opens us to be happy about life which is why a part of us could hold out to the fear of feeling extreme emotions, like disappointment and sadness as well.
Further Reading: 3 Reasons Why Love is Not Enough for a Relationship
Love is unequal
In a relationship, no two people love each other equally and one person out of the two could be more in love which is why people might keep wondering to themselves, “does the person like me as much as I like them?” This could settle insecurities and on the other hand if you feel that the other person likes you more than you do them, you are going to worry if your feelings will evolve for them or if you will end up hurting that other person. But, one must not worry about such petty details as love is not always balanced and such thoughts of worry would only make it harder for you to survive the relationship.
We are afraid of losing them
There are some unknown fears within us, and once we are in love, we don’t want to let the loved ones go. We are always happy single with nothing to be afraid of, but once we get attached to someone, we get afraid of what would happen to us if we lose them or if they leave our side. We must realize our own fears and not let them affect our life and our willingness to be in love. The thought of losing who we love might be frightening, but that doesn’t mean that we enjoy the moments that we have with them today. Life is about making beautiful memories, and not about who we have or have not.