People today want the maximum of their lives and slowly release the limitations they have been carrying for centuries. One of them is that they must be satisfied with the relationship they have, that there is no great love and happiness in marriage which only happens in novels and movies.
Such a way of thinking was adopted by collective consciousness and stories of great unhappy love (Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Iseult…) and created the conviction that great love is tragic and must be a secret. We bear these fears too, so, if we didn’t work on ourselves, we reject our soul mates without realizing it…
“It is dangerous to have great love.”
It is so much easier and simpler to be in a regular relationship, earning little or just enough for life, complaining how difficult it is to weep over our destiny and accuse others but to take control of life. Why is it easier for us? Because we carry blockades or subconscious programs, feelings, and beliefs that tell us that it is dangerous to have great love, a lot of money and good things. One of the most common blockades is that people will throw us away if we are different. That we will not be accepted, that we will remain alone, lose the love and affection of others.
“We wait for love to come to us.”
There are many blockades that prevent love from entering into our lives. Often we don’t know how to receive and give that love, no one has ever shown us, and we have no experience. We fear that the other person will hurt us if we are completely open. That we will lose freedom and that person will limit us in some way. We are afraid of soul mates because they know all our weak points. They know us very well, and they are the people who can give us the most, but they too get down and hurt.
We are also afraid to leave the familiar terrain and get out of the comfort zone. We have learned to live without love because in that way we are safer. Likewise, it is possible that we have long ago pledged ourselves to be alone because we felt that we would develop better and become closer to God. Sometimes we believe we aren’t good enough, beautiful, handsome and worthy of love entering our lives.
If that is the case, then we tell the universe that we are occupied so that no one else can enter our lives. If we have only a few of these subconscious blockades, we will not be able to recognize our soul mate, or we could drive her off. And if we enter into such a relationship, it will not last long.
Further Reading: 3 Reasons why Love is Not Enough for a Relationship
“Listening to the whisper of the soul.”
Sometimes we don’t seem to be with our soul mate, and in essence, we are, we just don’t recognize it for some reason. Most often this is because there is no healthy communication between partners. They don’t hear each other or suppress feelings, wear them for years in their lives instead of expressing them.
Then, if it takes too long, it leads to a relationship break, a divorce or even a disease. It also happens that in long-term relationships romance, charm and chemistry that partners have felt initially disappears, and they become more like friends, business partners, mother or father to each other.
“You blame yourself for every emotional failure.”
The phrases which women often say to themselves are “I’m not thin enough,” “I’m too old,” “I’m not good enough,” and so on. As hard as it is difficult to break away from such thoughts, we must make every effort, because anyone who wants to be in a good relationship deserves it. There can be helpful some motivational messages that you will speak to yourself and repeat, or you can go to a therapist who can also help a lot.
Further Reading: Why Relationship In Today’s World Barely Works?
“You still think about your ex-love.”
To clarify some things, if you’re still interested in what your ex is doing, it’s quite possible that you miss a chance to get to know a new interesting person. It may sound too banal, but releasing “remains” from your ex can be of great help. Try not to see your ex for a longer time, delete him/her from Facebook or any other social network, block chat. The less you know it will be easier for you to continue your life.
“You keep doing the same things and expect different results.”
Sometimes it’s very difficult to notice a form of behavior, and it’s even more difficult to change them. So, if you always find love in the wrong places, with the wrong people, it’s time to ask yourself. How do you usually meet partners and what kinds of men/woman do you like the most? The answers can help you to notice the form of behavior and try something different next time.
Further Reading: 12 Signs You Need To Leave Your Relationship
“You don’t want to show who you really are”
Do you clam up whenever a partner asks you about your childhood? Do you just go to the kitchen to take some food as a consolation after a quarrel? It all means that you stay in your emotional comfort zone by avoiding any stronger emotions, which is not good. When you refuse to be vulnerable, it means that you are ashamed of your desires and needs. It creates a wall between your partner and you, which could lead to his retreat. With this behavior soon the both of you will become distanced.
“You are negative.”
Have you ever heard of the law of attraction? If you stick to how badly things ended the last time, it will not bring anyone new. Our emotional state of the brain affects our energy and the signals we send to the environment. If we are negative, we will attract such people. This naturally leads to new disappointments. Instead of being negative, write down what didn’t suit you in the previous relationship. Write down which of your wishes and needs were not fulfilled and why. Writing will make you go deeper and find the root of the problem.
Love can be rejected in different ways. We can be too suspicious or find some meaningless flaws. Such a strategy certainly protects us from disappointment, but it doesn’t lead us anywhere. Instead of immediately refusing someone, give him a chance.