Animals are full of personality—clumsy, curious, sneaky, and sometimes just downright hilarious. That’s why they make the perfect stars of some of the funniest jokes out there.
From silly puns to playful punchlines, this collection of 100 animal jokes is guaranteed to make kids giggle, adults chuckle, and even pets raise an eyebrow. These jokes are clean, family-friendly, and perfect for sharing at school, around the dinner table, or just for a quick laugh during the day.
Ready to take a walk on the wild and funny side? Let’s jump right in.
Jungle Jokes
- Why don’t lions ever play cards in the wild?
Because there are too many cheetahs! - What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato! - Why did the monkey like the banana joke?
Because it was a-peeling! - What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you! - Why don’t leopards ever hide?
Because they’re always spotted! - What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie?
A python à la mode! - What did the tiger say to her cubs before dinner?
“Let’s prey!” - Why don’t apes use cell phones?
Because they’re afraid of the chimps in the data! - What do you get when you cross a lion with a snowman?
Frostbite! - Why did the orangutan go to school?
To improve his “ape-titude”!
Doggone Funny Jokes
- Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog! - What do you call a magician dog?
A labracadabrador! - What did the dog say to the tree?
Bark! - Why did the puppy bring a pencil to class?
Because he wanted to draw some pawsitive attention! - How do dog catchers get paid?
By the pound! - Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet! - What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?
The trom-bone! - What kind of dog loves taking baths?
A shampoo-dle! - Why did the Dalmatian hide?
Because he didn’t want to be spotted! - What’s a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie!
Cat-astrophic Giggles
- What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple! - What did the cat say when it lost all its money?
“I’m paw!” - Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse! - What kind of cat works for the Red Cross?
A first aid kit-ty! - Why do cats always get their way?
They’re very purr-suasive. - What did the kitten say after making a mistake?
“Meaow-culpa!” - What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-tain! - Why was the cat so good at video games?
It had nine lives! - What do cats wear at night?
Paw-jamas! - What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
Good Mousekeeping!
Farmyard Funnies
- Why did the cow win an award?
Because she was outstanding in her field! - What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop! - Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! - What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?” - Why did the duck get sent to the principal’s office?
For quacking too many jokes! - What do you call a sheep that does karate?
A lamb-chop! - Why did the horse go behind the tree?
To change his jockeys! - What kind of eggs do evil chickens lay?
Deviled eggs! - Why don’t pigs use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse! - What did one cow say to the other on a cold night?
“Got milk? I forgot my udderwear!”
Aquatic & Amphibian Amusement
- What do you call a fish without eyes?
Fsh. - Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide! - What do you call a crab who throws tantrums?
A snappy dresser! - Why did the dolphin bring a towel to school?
Because it had a swimming test! - Where do fish keep their money?
In the riverbank! - What game do fish love to play?
Salmon says! - Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools! - Why did the turtle break up with the snail?
Because he was too shellfish! - What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish! - How do you catch a squirrel under the sea?
Climb a tree and act like a nut… underwater!
Bird Brain Buffoonery
- What kind of math do owls like?
Owlgebra! - Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words! - What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly?
A chicken! - Why was the crow sitting on the telephone wire?
He wanted to make a long-distance caw! - What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A bird that talks your ear off before eating you! - Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be called bagels! - What did the duck say after buying lipstick?
“Put it on my bill!” - Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
Because he had a very big bill! - What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A crane! - What do you call a very polite owl?
A “hoo-manitarian!”
Wild Card Animal Jokes
- Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse! - What do you get if you cross a zebra and a kangaroo?
Zebouncing stripes! - Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
He had his head in the clouds! - How do you make a squirrel laugh?
Act like a nut! - Why don’t bears ever get invited to parties?
They always panda to themselves! - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! - What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
Snap! - Why are flamingos so good at stand-up comedy?
Because they always stand on one leg! - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! - What did the sloth say at the job interview?
“I’m fast… at heart.”
Bonus Animal Jokes
- What do you call a horse that lives next door?
Your neigh-bor! - Why did the goat start a band?
Because it had the horns for it! - What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an insect?
Bugs Bunny! - What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
Lollihops! - Why are ants so confused?
Because all their uncles are ants! - What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer! - Why did the camel become a comedian?
Because he always had the best dry humor! - What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
Wait at the buzz stop! - What’s a squirrel’s favorite subject in school?
Nut-matics! - What happened when the eagle got sick?
It was talon-ted but grounded.
Even More Laughs
- What do you get when you cross an owl with a skunk?
A bird that smells but doesn’t give a hoot! - Why don’t rabbits ever get hot in summer?
They have hare-conditioning! - What do hippos do when they’re bored?
They join a hippo-therapy group! - Why was the snake always on time?
Because he had a hiss-terical sense of time! - What’s a panda’s favorite cooking show?
The Great Bamboozle Bake-Off! - What do you call a deer that does magic tricks?
Hocus Elk-us! - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work! - What do you call a moose with a carrot in each ear?
Anything—you still won’t get a response! - What did the baby porcupine say to the cactus?
“Are you my mom?” - Why did the fox cross the road?
To outsmart the chicken.
The Last 10 Animal Jokes
- What’s a kangaroo’s favorite workout?
Jump rope! - Why did the bear bring a backpack to the picnic?
He wanted to pack some grr-ub. - What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s heavy, and the other is a little lighter! - Why did the ant sit on the matchbox?
He wanted to be a fire ant! - What do you get when you cross a duck with a computer?
A web-footed tech genius! - Why are snakes so good at measuring things?
Because they always scale it right! - What do you call a dolphin that tells jokes?
A real fin-ny guy! - Why did the owl get promoted?
Because he was a real “who’s who!” - What do llamas say when they start a fight?
“Alpaca punch!” - What do you get if you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A milkshake!
From the jungle to the barnyard and every animal in between, we hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Whether you’re sharing them at school, using them for storytime giggles, or adding them to a card, animal jokes are always a wild hit.